As piano teachers, we have the opportunity to play a part in creating what I call “proud parent moments” for the families in our studios. Studio parents are so used to seeing the everyday things that their children do that it becomes a true “wow moment” for them when they see their child do something that is out of the norm. Making music and doing it well can be one of those moments, and it can be a powerful way to connect piano families to your studio. If you are the one who facilitates these moments for parents, piano lessons will become a valued activity.
While proud parent moments can happen for a variety of reasons in your studio (and you can help them along by providing lots of opportunities for the celebrated success of your piano students. Recitals are one of the most obvious times that these moments can happen.
I spent a lot of time at piano recitals this weekend. And as I watched the performers, both young and old, I realized that I enjoy watching the parents of the students on stage more than I do the student themselves! And it became clear to me that most parents fall into one of the following categories:
1. The “Wow… Look What My DNA Can Do!” Parents
These parents are admittedly my favorite. They are thrilled when their child stands up out of their chair to walk to the stage. They’re tickled with joy when their child announces their piece. They glow with pride as their child performs. They almost pee themselves with excitement when their child remembers to bow. These parents come to recitals adorned with three cameras, a video camera, and an iPhone, desperate to capture every last second of their child’s recital experience. They bring not only Grandma and Grandpa but the neighbor, his gardener, and the lady who served them a coffee that morning. They are full of hugs and kisses when their child returns to her seat and they remain flushed with pleasure for the entire recital.
2. The “Oh… He Had That Perfect at Home.” Parent
These parents are the ones standing at the back of the room mouthing the words as their child introduces his piece. They sit grasping the sides of their chair with white knuckles as their child performs. Nothing can distract these parents as they sit rigid, seeming to send “don’t embarrass me” vibes in their child’s direction. When their child’s piece is over, they allow themselves a brief smile of pleasure and offer a quick pat on the back as their child returns to sit beside them.
3. The “As Long as You Had Fun!” Parent
These parents are the cause of many of my post-recital migraines. They arrive late, forget their child’s music books and usually bring along a few of the (noisy) children they are babysitting that day. Their child asks you five minutes before going on stage “What piece am I playing again?”. Their child then stumbles through an awkward rendition of a piece you’ve spent months on, and instead of bowing, does a quick break-dance on stage as his family hoots and hollers from the back. Recitals are no big deal, and they happily race off to a dance recital they have booked that evening.
Proud Parent Moments Matter…
As I watched my 5-year-old daughter, Lexi, last night at one of our studio’s piano recitals playing “Gallop Pony” with her teacher, I realized that I am definitely a category 1 parent… with maybe a touch of category 3. Sure she forgot that those dotted half notes are 3 beats and not 2 (and we spent a lot of time on those!)… but she was my girl up there playing the piano… and she was enjoying it.
And it was quite clear to me at that moment that that’s what recitals are all about. Because no matter how well your piano students perform, that performance lasts only minutes. But the Proud Parent Moments you have had a large hand in creating will be life-long.
Dee says
I have a mix of students. There are a couple of them that can only see the errors, and can never hear the beautiful music that has occurred. I have some that put there children on very high pedestals, and then there are some in between. They are the ones that realize that the children have worked really hard, and that if they have had fun, that is all that matters. These are the same parents who often let me know, how proud they are of me their teacher. They can tell that I have worked hard with the children, and they let me know how much they have enjoyed themselves at the recital.
Catherine says
I love the expressions on parents and extended families’ faces when children (or even adults!) play at my recitals. I agree it’s wonderful and forfilling to be part of something that stays with not just the children but their families, for life! to be honest, even in lessons (I encourage parents to sit in with the under 7s as the method I use needs quite a lot of parental support (Dogs & birds)- the parents are often over the moon at the progress their offspring make in a 20 or 30 minute lesson!
Leia says
Your daughter is so lovely! I can’t wait till I have kids and experience proud parents moments too 🙂
How old was Lexi when she started? Did you start her on Wunderkeys?
Andrea says
Thanks Leia! Yes, Lexi started in WunderKeys when she had just turned 3.