Sometimes, no matter how well prepared your student may be, the Stage Fright Monster takes hold. You’re mid-recital and you glance over to your next performer only to see her frozen in fear, with her flushed face buried in mom’s shirt.
Her parents are panicked and embarrassed (after all, they brought 14 people to watch her performance…). The room falls silent as everyone waits for your student to come up to the piano. Mom stage-whispers and attempts to peel her child away from her. Seconds tick by like hours and your student’s face gets redder (and the parents become more and more animated and insistent). The Stage Fright Monster has arrived.
What To Do When The Stage Fright Monster” Appears
The Stage Fright Monster is never far off – he’s likely to appear at any one of your recitals, and he doesn’t particularly care which student he chooses to affect. Even your most precocious and confident students can suddenly have a moment of weakness… and then he strikes. We can’t stop him from appearing, but here’s how to become a Stage Fright Monster slayer…
1) Learn to Spot Him – There is a difference between good old fashioned nerves and the Stage Fright Monster. Good old fashioned nerves are totally normal, and it’s important for kids to be encouraged to perform despite the butterflies in their tummies. The feelings of success that come from working through those nerves are powerful.
The Stage Fright Monster, however, causes extreme anxiety, panic, and the refusal/inability to perform. The two related… but they’re different, and it’s important to be able to quickly spot the difference when you’re mid-recital. As your recital progresses, keep your eye on your upcoming performers and do a visual check-in. It’s easier to deal with the Stage Fright Monster if he doesn’t take you by surprise.
2) Don’t Let Him Linger – It’s important to recognize that once a child is feeling extremely anxious, it’s fairly unlikely that any amount of cajoling, bribing, insisting or pressuring will get her up on stage. At that point, in her mind, the risks of performing far outweigh the rewards for her and her brain is so focused on her anxiety that you’ll have a real fight on your hands if you’re going to continue to try… and you’ll almost always lose.
Even if you do manage to get her up to the piano, the likelihood of this being a positive performance for her is slim. Her brain is in “fight or flight” mode… not “Minuet in G” mode. A stumbling and anxiety-ridden performance will do more damage to her confidence than missing out on this one recital experience. It’s best to just let her be. Don’t drag out the process of waiting, asking, convincing… just move on with the program.
3) Check to See if He’s Gone – Sometimes the Stage Fright Monster spontaneously disappears. As your little performer acclimatizes themselves to the recital environment, she may suddenly realize that things are not as bad as they once seemed and, once the Stage Fright Monster has retreated, she decides that she actually DOES want to perform the song you’ve worked on for months.
Do a quick check in with your once-frightened kiddo before the recital finishes and give her the opportunity to try again if she wants to. There’s nothing more triumphant than the performance of a child who has conquered the Stage Fright Monster.
Your Approach Really Counts…
These first experiences in front of an audience set the tone for many other aspects of your piano students’ lives. Public speaking, dance recitals… future Karaoke bar performances and Maid of Honor speeches… they will all be affected by a successful (or a terrifying) childhood grapple with the Stage Fright Monster. With a little help and understanding from you, your students can learn to keep that beast at bay… on their own terms, in an environment where they feel supported and understood.
Silvana says
Very wise advice. Thank you! Stage fright is the main reason why I tend to lean towards less formal opportunities for performance.
Robbin says
I encourage my first-year students to play duets with me. This helps too. We all know that the more they play in front of people, the easier it is. My students who attend small churches usually play an easy hymnn arrangement occasionally for “special music.” I try to take a group to the local nursing home to play at recital time too. Don’t be too impressed, ya’ll. This is best-case scenario!
I also rehearse what to do when the mistakes happen = how to keep going with just the right hand or how to loop back to the beginning. I remind the students that the two of us are usually the only ones who know how the piece sounds anyway!
Andrea says
Duets are a wonderful way to help Robbin – you’re so right. There’s nothing like a buddy on the bench for security! 🙂
Deborah says
One of the best expressions I received from a friend before my first organ recital is something I’ve shared with every one of my students:
“Enjoy every note you play, whether it’s one the composer intended or not!”
For the first time, I’m having group classes and in addition to games and food, each child “performs”. We learn performance AND audience etiquette. If the children are learning a piece that isn’t quite ready, I just have them play what they are most comfortable with.
It’s not about playing the entire piece – it’s about learning and enjoying what you play. And this spring, I’m taking them to local nursing homes to play. They are SO excited!
For the student who seems to have stage fright, I offer to sit next to them at the piano and tell them to think of playing for me as though we were in a lesson. So far, that’s helped.
I did like the idea of duets and will continue to encourage my students to go that route if it makes them feel more comfortable.
Thanks for sharing this post Andrea. You have a way of writing that is so encouraging.
Barbara says
Your friend is very wise, Deborah. Thank you for sharing that with us. I will definitely pass this along to my students.
Andrea says
I LOVE that quote 🙂
Orlia says
Boy, I wish you had posted this last week, before my recitals last weekend–I had a vicious attack of the Stage Fright Monster! Luckily it eventually went away, and she did end up playing a duet (unplanned) with me toward the end.
And Deborah, what a wonderful quotation! I need to “borrow” that one… 🙂
Mary says
I have only had one student who refused to perform-some years back, I held my recitals at a local music store’s “auditorium”. (I use that term VERY loosely!!!!) I have my beginners perform first and this first year student had that look of panic in her eyes when I called her up on stage. No amount of pleading or begging worked for her, she wouldn’t budge-even after watching her siblings perform. I gave her a chance at the end and she still refused. Her mom told me later, she even threatened to take away her day at Valley Fair, our local amusement park. That didn’t even do it. The next year, another year older, she didn’t balk a bit. I now do my recitals in my home and haven’t had one incident of stage fright to the point of refusing to play!
Andrea says
I had one exactly the same recently too. I hate to see the threats 😉 I think I myself would be reluctant to agree to a recital at all if I knew that I may risk losing something I care about a great deal! But parents are just trying to show their children that the CAN do it… However, at that point in this moment of extreme stage fright, nothing’s going to make her budge… her brain just won’t let her. As long as we recognize this then we’ll hopefully convince her to perform some day… just not that particular day!
Rebecca says
I always tell my students that recitals are the time when they (and others) get to enjoy the beauty of all the hard work they have practiced to achieve. They have worked really hard and learned the pieces really well and now they get to just enjoy it! I also provide lots of opportunities for my students to perform throughout the year. We have several performances at nursing homes/assisted living centers so they get more used to performing and start to feel successful with it.
Julie Martin says
I had a student who got stage fright that did not go away as I let her wait through to the end, but I wanted her to play, so I had her be our “refreshment time background music”. This was perfect as her family and others close by still stood and watched her perform her songs and applauded for her. A perfect first performance for this child.
Georgina Ball says
Wonderful ideas, thankyou!!!