If you’re not feeling quite yourself today you aren’t alone. Today is statistically the most depressing day of the year (actually, there’s some disagreement about the actual date but that’s another post for another blog). Why is today the most depressing day of the year? According to a very “scientific formula” that takes account of weather conditions, debt, distance from Christmas… and just the fact that it’s Monday, this day in January is the one where you’ll feel the most… blah.
Are you letting little studio annoyances contribute to your Blue Monday? We’re hoping this blog post can provide a different perspective to help you turn your Blue Monday into Motivation Monday.
I haven’t ever shared this story as it’s quite a personal one. But I’m reminded of it every time I hear a piano teacher refuse to take on a student because they only have a digital piano, or get frustrated and consider dropping a child who makes slow progress, or throw their hands up in frustration when a soccer game disrupts practice… or just generally get bogged down in the annoyances associated with our job. People can annoy us. People don’t always do what we want them to do. Blue Monday or not, it’s really easy to commiserate on any day.
But because of this story that I’m about to share with you, I personally never lose sight of what it means to be a piano teacher. Â And so those little annoyances in my job-life stay just that… little. Â
I’m hoping it affects you in a similar way.
What it Means to be a Piano Teacher
Aiden (name changed) was my very first piano student. He was sweet, very shy, and he tried really hard but his two outgoing sisters quickly breezed past him in his method book in a matter of months. I really had to flex my teaching muscles with Aiden; tried everything I could think of to make it click for him. He sort of practiced and he slowly progressed. He was not all that interested but he was too sweet to say so.
However, flash forward 8 years and Aiden was still my student. By then we had tossed his method books to the side and had found what made him tick: he was afire with a love for composing. We came up with great titles like “Chicago Cry” that were oh so cool. Other kids in the studio chose to play his pieces at recitals (to his blushing delight). He and I composed reams of really cool sounding pop and punk music. His reading skills were still shaky and his technique was not stellar. But he loved the piano.
Along the way, shy Aiden became confident. When he went off to a private high school he landed roles in their musicals playing the outlandish characters. Whenever I ran into his Mom she would comment on how much his piano lessons had affected him. How I had affected him.
I was in Copenhagen when I read the news on Facebook that Aiden had tragically passed away in a car crash just two weeks after his high school graduation. He had fallen asleep at the wheel. I was devastated. Being so far away, I didn’t have immediate contact with his family, but when I returned home those same words came from his tearful mom: what a large part I had played in his life, and how his piano lessons had made such an impact. When I visited his family nearly 3 years after his passing, his piece Chicago Cry was open on their piano.
Would it really have mattered if Aiden didn’t have an ideal acoustic piano at home? If he spent all of his lesson time composing instead of playing Bach? If he didn’t always practice – sometimes for weeks? Â If his parents placed equal importance on basketball?
Not now. What did matter was that joyful music-making was a large part of his too-short life. And because of this, I will be forever mindful of what it truly means to teach piano.
So, toss your Blue Monday blues to the side… because you are making a real difference in the lives of so many, and those little, niggly annoyances are a small price to pay for this opportunity we’ve been given.
Diane Densmore says
Thank you for this.
Vicky Tavernier says
What a great story. When I feel down about a student’s progress I remind myself of all the neurosynapses that are firing when they even try to play. I tell myself their brains are growing. I mean, what is the percentage of students who make it to become proficient players? I’d love to know that. Regardless, the brain-work alone is worth what parents pay.
Andrea says
Yes! Such a great point Vicky. Not all teachers are willing to think this way, but I really do believe that there are two sides to piano lessons and only one of those is actually music… and both are just as important.
Emily says
We often loose the beauty of the forest for the trees. Thank you or sharing.
Gemma says
What a moving story. Thank you for sharing, and inspiring me as a teacher.
Nishaa says
Just wow.
Christina says
This is one of those posts that I really need to keep in my back pocket everyday. I have more than one student like Victor and I often have wondered what they are getting out of my lessons. Sometimes I even feel guilty about all of the money the parents are spending on “Victor’s” piano lessons even after I have a discussion with the parents about the lack of practice and its effects. Your post helped me see past this.
Andrea says
Hi Christina – we’ve all had those students 🙂 Just remember that progress is subjective – and what is “progress” for one kid may not actually show up in his piano playing skills for a long time (but you are making a difference in so many other ways!) Thanks for reading.
Jane Berkowitz says
That’s beautiful, Andrea. Thank you.
Jane says
Andrea ~
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Last year I lost a former student in a very tragic way, and was reminded of how precious life is, and that what we do and say makes a difference in our students’ lives. It’s not just about the music.
Andrea says
Hi Jane – I’m so sorry to hear this. Piano teachers aren’t supposed to out-last their young students and it’s so very tragic when it happens. You are so right – it’s not only about music with these kids we see each and every week.
Jennifer says
A important to remember…thank you for sharing.
Crystal Sexton says
Thanks for this lesson. Sometimes we just don’t know the impact we are having on our students (and other people in our lives).
Christine Neale says
Lovely…thank you for softening the effect of this frigid, blue, Manitoba Monday. Hugs to your heart for touching Victor’s family and for sharing. <3
Cecilia Gibbs says
Your heartfelt story brought me to tears. No matter how frustrating a student might be, we have a purpose in their lives. What an awesome privilege it is to be a piano teacher. Thanks for your inspiration.
Andrea says
Love your comment Cecilia 🙂
Marian says
I have been very surprised at all the complaining and “venting” I’ve been hearing in teacher groups. At times, I have to admit, I have complained too, but mostly I love my “job” and feel so privileged to be able to work with each student. They bring a lot of joy. Thank you for the reminder.
Andrea says
Hi Marian – life is so much better without complaining 🙂 Yup.. parts of our job are frustrating (but so are parts of *any* job). I’ve made a pact with myself to focus on the positive… always… and it has really served me well in so many areas of my life. It’s fun to commiserate, but it doesn’t really accomplish anything in my mind! So glad you’ve found satisfaction and love for your job – your students are lucky to have you!
Carol says
Your beautiful story brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing.
Karron Lee says
Thank you for this wonderful story. I am beginning to teach adults piano, and I have students that fit into this story. I was touched by this wonderful story and it explains why I have an affinity for teaching piano to adults. T
Mary says
Yes, what an amazing article!!! In my many years of teaching, I have often been frustrated with some students who just never really got the hang of piano, even after years of lessons. I have several of them right now. Every week we plod through the pieces with new ideas of how to approach practice written in their assignment notebooks. (Do they ever read what I write???) Progress is slow, or nonexistent. My nonmusical husband offered this tidbit-perhaps I am meant to be their teacher for another purpose besides just music. I continue to share my love of music with my students, and hope that some day it will click for them.
Andrea says
Your husband is a wise and insightful man 🙂 And when it does click for those students the impact you’ve made in other ways just increases ten fold!
Laura Holleman says
This is such a sad story; but it is an excellent reminder to be more empathetic with frustrating students (and frustrating parents as well).
Jennifer Foxx says
Love, love, love! Thank you for sharing. It is in those moments that things are put in prospective. Prospective can be a positive thing as long as we learn from them. Victor was blessed to have you as his teacher. Not only did he leave his family with beautiful memories, but because you taught him how to compose, he left a part of him that can be relived over and over through music. Beautiful.
Andrea says
Thank you Jennifer! We are always inspired by positive teachers like yourself 🙂
Patricia Moore says
What a wonderful story. I have had students that have frustrated me to no end, but there’s one thing I know. Just like our parents or old friends will always have a story about the piano teacher they had, our students will tell their friends and children about their piano teacher. I believe we touch each student in a different way and sometimes it might not be the music. That is our legacy.
Andrea says
Yes! Love this Patricia!
Chris Morecroft says
Hi, your story resounded with me as many years ago I had a child who was shy and didn’t make a lot of progress compared to some but her mum always said that what she gained in confidence, in social skills and in a love of music from being with me half an hour a week was so much more valuable than piano skills. Recently as a now grown woman, she had a bad bout of depression and I was amazed that it was me she came to talk to about it. Music means so much. x
Joy Knipps says
I read your blogs and just had to respond to this one. I too cried and I too often feel guilty taking their money. I have one student like this; his grandmother paid for the lessons and stated she was going to stop after the holiday recital if he didn’t start improving. I could tell that Grandma and Dad (both play/played for years) were putting pressure on my student for the recital. Then his Mom shared her fear that her son would freak out at the recital. We talked/planned and he walked off the stage with a huge smile on his face!! (My goal for recitals!) I was thrilled. Grandma did end his lessons; however, his Mom disagreed with Grandma and her husband and he is taking lessons again! I’ve talked to his Mom (no music or piano experience)about practicing but I sense she feels a little lost and that Grandma and Dad are less than supportive which puts her in a bad spot. I’ve been in a quandary about what to do; the student likes the lessons and I’ve fallen in love with him just like my other students. 🙂 Your message will help me to quit feeling guilty, I’ll stop talking to Mom about practicing, and instead the student and I will keep on just having fun with music! Thank you so very much. Joy
Tyra says
One of my favorite students is learning disabled. His mother hasn’t shared his history with me, but having been in the school system for years, I know things aren’t connecting. Regardless, this child loves piano and had a great first recital. Thank you for sharing your own story of a struggling student.
Rachel Reis says
I am so happy to read all this experiences.I am having a melt down about losing 2 students this months after 5 years with me and very little progress comparing with with others.I got very sad and frustaded at the same time thinking that I had failed.After reading these amazing stories I am feeling better and I will give even more of me!!!Thank you for sharing this experiences!!