Why do you want your child to take piano lessons?
It’s a simple question; one that probably has you thinking, “Oh yeah… I already ask my new families that question. Come on Trevor and Andrea, is that the best you can do for a Monday morning blog post?”
A couple of years ago, I would have had that same thought.
A couple of years ago I simply asked that question because it seemed a natural question to ask new piano parents. I’m not even sure I paid to much attention to the answer. After all, I was a good teacher teaching a good program and a new paying customer was signing up… high fives all around right?
How Their Answer Can Impact Your Studio
Being an incredible teacher is a huge piece of the “Yay, Piano Teaching!” pie, but equally important is having piano parents who are in lessons for the right reasons. Analyzing answers to the question “Why do you want your child to take piano lessons?” will help you discover those right reasons and lead you down the path to a thriving studio.
“Why do you want your child to take piano lessons?”
There are many different answers to this question. Some make it very obvious that children are beginning lessons for the right reasons (“Our family really values music and we want our children to learn a skill that requires discipline.”), and some make it very obvious that their children are starting lessons for the wrong reasons (“His Grandma bought him an organ at a garage sale so we thought we’d give it a shot.”)
And then there are the following 3 answers that are not always so cut and dry. You’ll hear them a lot. And a lot of success can come from knowing what to do with these responses.
Answer 1: “I regret giving up piano lessons as a child.”
Your job when you hear this is to uncover if the sought-after piano lessons are indeed for the benefit of the child or are simply a fleeting “I wish my mom had made me stick with lessons” parenting moment. If a piano parent clearly communicates why they have regrets, and relates these regrets to the benefits that they know piano lessons can offer their child, then this is a clear indication that they are more likely to be a piano parent who understands stick-with-it-ness. If not… then their “parenting moment” may rapidly disappear as they too inevitably follow the “She just doesn’t like it anymore” path.
Answer 2: “His friend takes piano and we thought Aidan should too.”
When you hear this response you’re going to want to delve further to uncover what it is about that friend that is making piano lessons so appealing. Is this simply a case of keeping up with Joneses, or is there something more? Are the parents impressed with the passion for piano that this friend is showing? Do the parents see a friend who is showing dedication and motivation to a task and want to pass on these character-building opportunities to their own child? If so, their desire to give Aidan the opportunity is probably very valid. If not, piano lessons may be destined to be yet another notch in his extracurricular activity belt once the newness wears off.
Answer 3: “She’s so interested in music.”
An interest in music alone is not a reason to start piano lessons. Dig a little deeper when a parent responds with this answer. How is this musical interest displayed? A child who dances along to the radio and sings harmony with Katy Perry is very different than the child who begs to go to her group preschool music class or who signs up for every musical opportunity at her elementary school. A child who is truly interested in learning the piano is a child who will have the fortitude to put in the work that a successful piano education requires.
What To Do With The Answers
I believe so strongly in the benefit of piano lessons that it’s rare that even a glaringly “wrong” answer to this question can make me send a prospective student packing right away. It’s my hope that I can turn any waffling into commitment once they see what piano lessons can be. I simply ensure all parents enter into lessons with a very clear idea of my expectations (and a written policy in hand). Yet, this is a risk I choose to take (and I completely understand those teachers who prefer to take a pass… I do get burned).
However, if the “wrong” answers are also followed by other warning signs (reluctance to find an appropriate home instrument, issues with payment terms, lack of communication after the interview etc.) or just generally a “hunch” (that 16 years has fine-tuned to almost 100% accuracy!) then I’ve learned that it’s almost always best to remember the drain on my time that a student who isn’t quite the right fit can rapidly become.
Ask this question in your piano student interviews… and consider the answers carefully. The insights you can gain will help you to either refrain from entering a negative relationship, or can prepare you fully for what may be to come.
Read Also:
Why Piano Teachers Should Hold Student-Led Interviews… Piano Style!
Oops! Piano Student Interview Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Good advice, as usual. I always ask if this something the child really wants to do. I hope to hear that the child has been begging for lessons for months. But, like you, I never turn anyone away.
I had a student many years ago who struggled along, not at all interested, because his mother wanted him to. (Not saying he learned nothing, or didn’t benefit from lessons!) one day in a conversation with his mother, I asked why she didn’t take lessons. She clearly wanted to, but had recently had a baby, and it clearly was not the time. I hope she had the chance to take lessons sometime.
I recently interviewed a potential student age 4.5 and her father. When I spoke to him on the phone prior, he mentioned that he would love to see her play the National Anthem at a pro stadium one of these days. The “one of these days” gave me some hope that he realized that wouldn’t be for quite a while. He was also given a keyboard recently and the little girl liked to play with it. He also didn’t have he opportunity to learn as a kid and wants his daughter to have that opportunity. Ok, not the best reasons but at the interview the little girl passed my criteria for starting lessons-able to tell high from low, keeping time with a drum and hand clapping and got the 2 and 3 pattern of black keys etc. We had one lesson and the father was pleased to see she enjoyed herself and he promised to be her home coach and make sure she would practice. My latest contact with the dad was the girl was looking forward to the next lesson. It would be nice if this would continue…..
All signs are pointing to the positive so far Claire! Hope it works out for the both of you 🙂
I took a student 2 month ago for obviously wrong reasons: the 10 years old told me point blank, that he doesn’t want to do it , but his mother was making him. Even the mother asked if we can ” try” it for a month, and , of course, I said “no”. Well, after 2 months the mother reports, that he is interested, and practicing on his own. Go figure. I think it’s always worth it to give it a shot.
Hi Milla – I’ve had so many of these same situations – which is why it’s very rare for me to turn a student away without at least giving it a good try. Some of my students that I’ve had for the longest time began lessons for “questionable” reasons – but it has become something important in their life. You just never know… but it’s always nice to enter into something with a clear idea of what you could be getting into 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
I had no idea that there should be an interview before starting lessons. Thank you, Andrea!
Hi Alli – not everyone does them, but it is a really great idea. So many of the problems piano teachers face are due to lack of clear communication and understanding between client and teacher and an in-person conversation before beginning can put a lot of these issues to rest before you even start! Lots of teachers do an interview/first lesson all at once and can assess the readiness of the student as well as the commitment level of the family. This is also a time to go over your studio policy, iron out how payment works etc.
If you interview a family and know it will not be a good fit, what is the best way to turn them down without hurting the reputation of your studio?