After piano teaching, my second passion is photography, and I had a good laugh the other day when I saw a “Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Photographer” as post on Facebook. And it got me thinking about piano teachers and how we are often united by the same struggles, the same triumphs… and the same headaches. (In fact, our Facebook communities are a great place to gather to share these! Find us on Facebook for teaching teens and “under 10’s“)
Here’s my Top 10 list of things you should never say to a piano teacher. I’d love to hear your Top 10 additions. Share yours by leaving a comment below 🙂
The Top 10 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Piano Teacher!
1. He’s going to do his practicing on his Grandma’s piano because we don’t have one.
2. She doesn’t practice because she’s not feeling challenged.
3. We forgot his piano books.
4. Phew! We barely made it. He’s been home from school all day with a nasty stomach bug!
5. So, what do you do for work?
6. I don’t get paid until the end of the month so I’ll bring the lesson cheque then.
7. His Aunt is getting married tomorrow. I told her he could learn that wedding march song in today’s lesson.
8. He’s probably not going to like piano… but can he try it anyway?
9. Do you do drop in lessons?
10. We have a birthday party next week. Just let me know when you can do a make-up lesson.
Looking forward to reading your additions to this list 🙂
Many of these Top 10 statements just come with the territory, BUT we can help you to avoid ever hearing number 8! The Adventures of Fearless Fortissimo are comic-based piano books that will rid your studio of unenthusiastic and uncommitted male students forever! Find out why a piano teacher emailed to say “Boys who have a hard time working on their weekly assignments learn the music for Fearless Fortissimo in a week, hands together, perfect rhythm and dynamics! I really believe Fearless Fortissimo has kept at least 2 boys from dropping out last semester!”
Kathryn says
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when a 7 year old student said he did not practice because, ” I’m addicted to video games!”
Bec says
“You’re so lucky to get paid for doing your hobby”. Yes, those years at the Conservatorium of Music were all part of my music hobby grand plan lol
Melissa says
Yesterday I got this from a parent “she won’t be able to make it to her lesson today, sorry for the inconvenience”. It was 15 minutes before her lesson time. Then I get another message saying “can we do a makeup tomorrow possibly?”
*forehead smack*
Theresa Troise Heidel says
I love this blog…thank you for posting it. I am a water colorist who has been trained since childhood by my mother who was a piano teacher. I’ve been teaching piano for quite a few years and I blend the two careers together…painting in the morning and teaching in the afternoons and evenings. I have got lots of stories too…there should be a big book of piano excuses and stories. I had to tell a student recently that, “No, it is not called the New World Sympathy”..that and…”Oh yeah…I heard of Brahms…the Brahm’s Zoo…right?”. Or how about I love playing the credenza in “Fur Elise”….
Rob says
This is the extent of my piano teaching career, and why I didn’t pursue it (I am a fourth grade teacher, and I play often for school functions and weddings):
I was going to start teaching piano lessons for this music store in our town. The owner told me that I was to know right off that if his one keyboard sold, that piano lessons were over until he bought another one, and this whole thing was all about money first and lessons later, blah, blah, blah. Yet he posted an ad in our local newspaper wanting a piano teacher! I guess he just wanted it for his business to look good.
Then the first student’s mother came in – all the way from the next county in our state – with this:
“We’ve looked everywhere and talked to so many teachers, and you know what? They are all SO EMPHATIC about taking a lesson EVERY WEEK! Can my daughter [a 14 year old, I would guess] take a lesson every 2 weeks or maybe 3 or just like, once a month if need be?”
My reply was a “You get out of it what you put into it…” speech, and we (against my wishes) set up for once every 2 weeks. She attended one lesson (and acted like a total goof-wad the whole time, laughing and making ridiculous comments after every mistake), and never returned. I guess she thought that all she really needed was one lesson per lifetime.
I also did not further any more teaching for that music store.
BTW, it went out of business very soon after. Hmmm…..?
Jim says
I received a text about 3 months ago from a mother who wanted me to teach her son. I replied that I was interested but that I had moved since placing the ad and told her where I now live. She replied that that was absolutely no problem. She went on to say: “I’m going to Europe for the summer and I need something to keep my 15 year old son busy. I will have a driver deliver him to your studio and wait until he is finished to take him back home. He will come to your studio two times a week and each lesson is to last three hours. Just let me know what your fee is so I can write out the checks before I leave for Europe and I will have the driver bring the check each month.”
Have you ever???
Trevor says
Wow… that’s insane! Actually this sounds a lot like those “piano lesson scams” that go around occasionally, but they’re usually not by text so this one must be legit… not sure if that’s a good thing!!
Jim says
It is insane. As are all the other comments. I don’t teach, but I would not tolerate any of that garbage to put it nicely.
If I find a special student I want to teach I will have a sit down with both parents and the student and explain the process. Then I would present it to them in contract form for all three to sign.
Youth are spread to thinly these days. They can’t excel at 20 different activities.
Something that saddens me just as badly is the piano forums where the young people are teaching themselves. They claim to have teaches, but then get in piano forums and ask the most basic of questions. Why not ask the teacher? I find it all very sad, as I do most of what is going on in this world.
Jim says
Oh, one more thing. I would print this post and include it in the contract for student and parents to read and sign.
Stop letting the tail wag the dog.
RosieTan says
I have a 8 years old student who always make excuses for not practicing.
1) I didn’t practice because I’m busy preparing for my birthday ( his birthday is a month later)
2) My school teacher scold me for not doing homework so I couldn’t practice
3) My mum is watching movie so I couldn’t practice.
Daniel says
I told a ten years old girl she had to practice and she said ‘I’ll see if its possible’.
Aprik says
“K just isn’t excited about coming to lessons anymore. So we are going to take March off and go month to month after that. I don’t believe in allowing kids to quit.”
Holly Jones says
Wow! I’m not alone! (I’ve heard it all) One time a rude woman called inquiring about rates, and she said, “$150/month??? Don’t you think that’s a little expensive? It should be like, 1 CENT per minute right??” I was so insulted! LOL
I told her that is the going rate in my area (San Jose, CA), and that I am actually more moderate than other teachers and anything cheaper than that may not be so professional. She said she will keep “shopping around”… Wouldn’t want her business anyway, oy!
Gail says
Is that tuition for four 1/2 hour lessons ?
Rah says
An eight-year-old boy told me he did not practice because there was a fugitive in the area. I looked squarely at him and asked with a raised eyebrow, “And you are part of the search team?”.
Vicksky says
I teach lessons and am enjoying all your comments. My solution to most issues is to set a Schedule- – in late July I send out the Fall Schedule (and new rates, usually goes up 1 buck every year) and in that Schedule I blot out Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas week, plus any other weeks my own family might be unavailable. We are usually gone Labor Day weekend so I take that week off. I also mention very clearly, Please let me know asap of any conflicts so we may find an alternate lesson time IF POSSIBLE. I’ve also taken great pains to describe my “weekend” is Thurs & Fri, because I teach on Sat and often perform Sat eve and Sun morn/afternoon. Also anybody who missed 2 weeks is cut from schedule. I’ve only had one student who got cut (and she wore high heels and sheer leggings so I don’t miss her either). Basically, a teacher has to define their “teaching times” and honor those; also the students need to honor their teacher- -for instance when we had a death in family, I cancelled next 6 wks of lessons since I was executor, and only 1 out of 22 families “complained”, all the rest sent condolences. Best option, always treat your music teacher as well or better than you are treated at your own job. And remember how your teacher is Self Employed (so pays all their own health ins, pension, etc). If you pay 20 or 30 bucks for a smidgen of their time you are getting a bargain.
Katharine says
(1) I want to play only in the key of C
(2) I don’t want to learn scales
(3) What pages in this book? (Everyone gets an assignment sheet.)
(4) I don’t want to use a metronome
(5) I don’t like to count aloud while I’m playing
(6) This sounded better at home
(7) Can I pay you next week?
(8) I forgot my music
(9) Can you teach me to play “Fur Elise”? (Less than a month of lessons)
(10) Can you teach me to play “Linus and Lucy”? (Less than a month of lessons)
Jonathan Ackerman says
“I just want him/her to have fun…”
Jenna says
6 year old student: “My auntie said I don’t really need to play with my hands rounded and fingers curved, because she said concert pianists don’t play like that.”
Me: “…um. They actually do. Does your auntie play piano?”
Student: “No.”
Me: *screaminginmybrain*
Mary says
Wow, have I heard these little ditties!
My favorite is so common, you can buy buttons with the quote:
“Gosh. It sounded much better at home.”
Hahaha! Blessings to all!
Janet says
I identify with all of them, this is what happened recently
Mum: “ J can’t come to his Wednesday lesson for 8 weeks because he wants to play football, can he come another day?
He can only come Thursday or Friday”
Me: I don’t teach Thursday or Friday, but I guess I could make a special time on Friday for 8 weeks
Mother: It’s only 8 weeks
Comes 15-20 mins late every week.
Week 8: Mum rings 15 mins into lesson time, “Oh he missed the bus, can we do a makeup lesson, maybe in the holidays?
After I have made sure I am there, on time, every week, the air con is running, the lesson is prepared
and she wonders why I said “No”
….and the fees haven’t been paid yet.
I just wanted to vent, piano teaching is a pretty lonely occupation
Lauri says
“Could we have lessons every other week?”
“We just want her to have fun, so could we skip the technique and theory?”
“She just got invited to a birthday party this afternoon, so could we reschedule?”
“We want to give her the whole summer off from piano so she can just relax.”
“He’s decided to take up a new sport, so could you hold our spot for the next 6 weeks?”
“You’re doing such a great job,” says the parent to the student, after the teacher has used every motivational approach in her arsenal to get him to do his assignment.
Piano Parlor Studio says
These gave me a good laugh… because we’ve ALL been there! In case it is helpful to anyone, I will add that I have a concisely written studio policy that is signed and renewed each year. That is a lifesaver! I outline expectations for: payment (and late fee – give grace, but do enforce this fee if you include it and it will make things easier for you and the parents, and save that relationship), missed lessons, materials required, at-home practice, and parent/guardian expectations. Again, this is only a two-page document (and that includes big headers and place for signing and dating). I go over these things in the new student interview and get verbal agreements from both parent & student that they will commit to these things; but on the rare occasion that a parent (usually new to the studio) is struggling with something, I just kindly remind them how to do such & such, “per signed studio policy”, and then I attach a copy of said signed policy. I’ve never had to remind a parent more than once, and importantly, have a good relationship with each parent. As well, I send around a calendar each semester and do the same with it, and this year I’m spending the 15 minutes that it takes to send Google Calendar date reminders to everyone for important dates like studio closings and recital, to help ward off endless questions. Paper copy, digital copy, virtual reminders, done! This stuff truly requires very little of my time, but boy has it saved me from the headaches I had in my first years of teaching!
Piano Parlor Studio says
Also, each year, set aside a small amount of time to honestly evaluate yourself. Reevaluate how things are going. When you recognize problem patterns, make a small adjustment in that area and move on. Example, our area does not do year-round school, and summer lessons (though I loved them because the kids were so relaxed) we’re becoming an issue as far as scheduling around trips and camps. I was hesitant to let them go because I was afraid I wouldn’t retain students and because I do Fall recital, I thought students would come back brain dead and unable to start in on recital prep. But, summer lessons were a scheduling hastle, so it was worth a try. I implemented a Saturday camp to kick off summer, found creative ways to touch base with students once over summer (teens a little more, and parents here & there), problem solved! Have never lost a student, and they come back refreshed and oh so ready for lessons… Actually missing lessons! Woohoo! Now, I do pray and ask God for wisdom and creativity, so I give Him all the credit for any good thing I can come up with! Happy teaching, everyone… You make more of an impact than you know.
Lorr says
True stories: “a lesson costs that much? But he’s just a little boy.”
“The painters were at my house, they covered up the piano and I couldn’t find it.” Did you ask your mom to help you? “She wasn’t home.”
Kare says
Student: I’m hungry can I have a snack and a drink before lesson?
Student: going to toilet every lesson, only 30 minutes…as if they safe their goodies to unload my at house.
Students: I’m curious what your upstairs looked like? Can I have a peek sometimes?
Parents: Can I have some of your houseplants?
Parents: dropping their child off 10-15 minutes before lesson and picking the child up 30 minutes after lesson! Blamed traffic and kept repeating the habit. I dropped them!
Parents: Conveniently forget to pay for lessons! After many reminders I dropped them!
Parents: Bringing friends to lesson not considering that it’s also my private resident. Rude!
Andrea says
LOL – can I have some of your houseplants. That’s classic 😉
Dee says
I had a kid miss her lesson. The parent texted asking if it could be rescheduled. I said it could pending availability. She then texts me twice more asking when we could make up the lesson. I said I had no open times. Her response was epic..
‘I do understand that we missed the lesson and that was our fault but no one likes to donate money.’
I’m relating all too well with all of these posts. Sad, eh?
Susie says
Here’s a first in 25 years of teaching. A student told me that he was only taking piano because he felt sorry for me. And that in one more year he would quit. Considering he has barely progressed or put in any effort over several years, he’s been wasting my time and energy and his parents money for a while!
Lisa says
Im perplexed by the parent that thinks their child is or could be a genius. Especially when they change piano teachers, because they think their lack of ability or motivation must be because of the teacher. Because after all, they could play twinkle twinkle with one hand perfectly at 4 years of age. For this reason, I have to audition students and ask the parents what their expectations are. If a six year old is practicing 30 minutes a day and learning 2-3 new songs a week, then there is no reason to push them to do more. Im so tired of the word “challenge” and trying to turn our beautiful children into robots. No wonder some kids hate piano, their parents are expecting too much.
Louise says
“Can you recommend another teacher? My parents are getting annoyed with you.”