Piano teachers spend a lot of their day thinking in segments of time. 30 or 45 minutes is carefully broken down into parts – book work, theory, sight-reading, music games, performance preparation.. they all have to fit somewhere! But we often forget about the first 5 minutes of the lesson. And these 5 minutes are the most important minutes of the entire piano lesson.
Many of you probably naturally fill these first 5 minutes in exactly the way you should. But it’s still a great reminder to mentally set aside this time for what truly matters; relationship building.
These five minutes are when a connection happens. Use this time to chat about their life. And most importantly – remember their answers and then refer to them in future conversations. Ask specific questions, not just “How was school?” as most kids will give you the one word “Good.” To truly build a relationship you want details! It’s the fact that you then remember these details that shows your piano kids that you truly care about them; that they are more than just your 4:30 piano student. And while the details may seem trivial to you (Bubbles the class pet who got to come and stay at their house may seem small beans to you) to your kids… small life events can be epic. And if you remember to ask them about Bubbles the following week you’ve won them over.
Why Will This Make or Break a Piano Teacher?
You can be the most talented pianist, the most well-respected piano pedagogue, the most awarded performer, and the most knowledgeable teacher around, but if you don’t connect with your students they won’t reach their full potential. Children learn best in an environment where they feel supported. You can also have the most marketing dollars, the flashiest ads, and the most expensive grand piano, but unless you can truly connect with your students your word-of-mouth will suffer.
Building a relationship with your students comes from a combination of conscious effort and effortless ease, but all it takes is 5 minutes. Do you schedule this into your lessons?
Now that the first five minutes of a piano lesson are settled, spend the next 5 minutes warming up in the most unique and innovative way! Using TEDDtales, the positive personal connection you’ve just made with your students will naturally carry over into these enjoyable stories that surround pedagogically-sound technical exercises. It’s a fun way to sharpen your students’ focus at the start of a lesson PLUS get going on some serious finger flexibility, note reading, muscle coordination, and more!
Angela says
I TOTALLY agree! I have made it habit to automatically ask them how their day went, what did they learn in school, etc! Great post because this is confirmation and encouragement for me! Thank you!
Fiona says
Me too ! I agree and I try to incorporate that as much as I can ! Kids love talking about themselves and I listen with great interest to what they have to say. That helps their confidence too!
Rebecca Brown says
I completely agree! But definitely be specific. If you know they celebrated a birthday that week, as them what they did at their party. (And then sit down and play “Happy Birthday” for them.) If you know they took a trip over the weekend, as them about it.
Then, it’s equally important talk about the coming week toward the end of the lesson. If you have a student who will be performing in a musical, which will require nightly rehearsals that week, you can make a huge impact by being understanding and reducing their practice requirements for that week. Or, if you know that they will be out of town for 4 of the 7 days, it’s important to keep their new assignment small. Both of these examples set the student up for success, instead of failure. Then……next week, be sure to start the lesson by asking about those events. (And, if possible, attend that musical!)
Andrea says
Great points Rebecca!
Donna Lee Wright says
Before the student leaves, we will have set a practice goal for the coming week based on their weekly family/school agenda. I ask them to commit to certain available days and times. When they leave, they have goals and a plan on how to meet it.
Claire Westlake says
Amen!
Helen says
As an adult pupil, I would like to say it is very nice to have the same sort of 5 minute ‘debrief’ before starting into my lesson. This can be a two way thing as we (the pupil) will often know that you (our fantastic teacher) may have been celebrating a birthday/taking part in a half marathon etc and can ask you how you week went as well. Nice ice-breakers which helps both parties to get to know each other better.
Andrea says
So very true! Thanks Helen.
Lori Supernaw says
I started doing “Brain Gym” exercises at the beginning of all my lessons so that as we talk and build our relationship, we are also preparing our brains for learning. My students LOVE it!
Andrea says
Very cool Lori! I’d love to hear more about this!
Leigh says
I’d love to hear more about Lori’s Brain Gym exercises.
Chrisanne says
I’m a fairly new piano teacher (3 years)…and I’ve always done this. It’s so nice to read that I’m doing things right! 🙂
Andrea says
Hi Chrisanne – it’s always nice to reaffirm what you felt was the right thing to do! Thanks for commenting.
Holly Valencia says
So true! Yes I always take some time to connect with them at the beginning, and I agree that it is so important. My students come in with a variety of different moods too. haha Sometimes if they’re not having a great day, I try to make them laugh. Laughter is so healing. 🙂 Kids are so cute when they tell you their stories in detail too. When you show them that what they say is important too you, it affirms them and gives them more confidence as they grow. So yes, 5 minutes can make a huge impact!
Marise Petry says
I really am enjoying your blogs! I thought I was the only one out there who teaches the student (as opposed to just teaching piano). I post monthly calendars in my studio with student birthdays (and mine) on them. If they have a lesson ON the DAY of their birthday, they get to pick out a special prize from my prize can that I use for other noted accomplishments like meeting a practice goal that week. You are a teacher after my own heart. Keep up the encouraging words.
Jacqueline F. Graham says
Enjoyed this post so much that I came back to read it again today. Making copies to share with friends.
((((Have a blessed and beautiful day!))))
Paulette says
I agree! I usually ask my kids something like”What’s the most fun you’ve had this week?”Followed by “How are things in piano land?”
Emily Bass says
I agree and always have made it a point to speak to each child on a very personal level when they first sit down at the instrument. I’ve had success becoming a trusted adult in many of my student’s lives. A friend who is also a teacher once scolded me that I wasn’t to be their therapist just their piano teacher. Sometimes you are THE only adult who they can share scary frightening things with.
Sonja Endreson says
Totally agree! knowing that just a few minutes of talking with each students brings about a personal trust & interest that each student seems to appreciate. I have a few students who will immediately sit down to play an assigned song or composition but then will stop & ask how my day is going!!! Have to love our job. Great post.
CH says
Agree 100%. While I have no trouble doing this with the little ones who are happy to chat about everything in their heads I have more trouble relating to teens. I find all I’m doing is commiserating with the teens over the tons of homework they get from school and the never ending tests they do. What tips do others have for connecting with teens at the beginning and end of lessons. ?
Andrea says
I agree – asking teens “how was your day” is never going to get a great response! I try questions like “What’s on your iPod this week?”. This keeps the conversation centered on music and also gives me an insight into what they might like to play. Usually teens are happy to “chat music” and in doing so you’ll likely gain other insights into their life that you can store away and talk about next time 🙂