It’s time to learn from my mistakes! And believe me… I’ve made many. In the almost 15 years I’ve spent running a very large music studio I’ve had my share of time to both triumph… and not. So, in the hopes that you too may learn from my mistakes here’s my 37 Things I Will Never Do Again (in no particular order). We’d love to hear what you’d add to your own “never again” list in the comments section below the post!
1. Agree to teach past 8:45pm
2. Help a student struggle through their current favourite tune that is miles too hard.
3. Host a recital that is more than 75 minutes long.
4. Give a candy or a sticker after every single lesson.
5. Teach theory concepts that my students will not encounter for a long time in their method book.
6. Turn away a 3 year old piano student (never again when I have this!)
7. Loan out my last copy of a much-loved piano book.
8. Neglect to teach my students to chord, play from guitar charts, and to compose.
9. Teach while my children are at home and may need me.
10. Rely on candy or stickers as a bribe to complete a lesson task.
11. Miss an opportunity for a good chat with a parent just because I didn’t know them very well.
12. Greet a young student in any other way but eye-level.
13. Hand out paper newsletters.
14. Allow my own expectations for progress to cloud what is being accomplished.
15. Let more than a month pass without connecting with a parent in some way.
16. Hold re-registration for the fall in June (from now on it’s May!).
17. Send an unprepared student into an exam with the hopes that she’ll learn and next time she’ll practice harder.
18. Print colored worksheets, games and activites on my own printer.
19. Neglect to use an accounting program.
20. Hand out candies during a mid-lesson game instead of sending them home at the end of the lesson.
21. Host a piano party and invite only boys ages 7-10.
22. Rush a child through an activity they are really enjoying just to get onto the next task.
23. Let my own hurt feelings dictate my business practices.
24. Have an unattractive or outdated studio website.
25. Lose contact with my graduated piano students.
26. Teach during my last week of pregnancy.
27. Teach in-home lessons to an unreliable family.
28. Hide behind an email when a phone call (no matter how uncomfortable) will accomplish more.
29. Have paperclips anywhere in the vicinity of my piano.
30. Forget that behaviour usually stems from an un-met need.
31. Neglect my own piano time.
32. Attend a recital, competition or exam without spare copies of every book my student may need.
33. Hold lessons on a stat holiday.
34. Put anything in writing that I wouldn’t want displayed in full-view in public.
35. Forget to laugh, smile and joke with every one my students no matter if we “click” or not.
36. Teach a child with special needs without first having an in-depth conversation with her parents.
37. Have an in-studio fish tank.
Wow… I can think of many more, but we’d love to hear from you! What would be on your “I’ll never do this again” list? Comment below… and once we’ve all absorbed this info… we should be pretty much perfect 🙂
Bridey @ Pianosaurus Rex says
21 and 37 made me laugh 🙂
And 34 is a very good way to operate. It reminds me of the proverb “if you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it”
Glory St. Germain says
Love this list! I’ll never teach at 6:30 a.m. again… I offered a student a 6:30 a.m. spot, (I was actually kidding at the time), but he said YES I’ll take it, so for 8 years I taught him and he was awesome! Now he has graduated and off to college and no more 6:30 a.m. students for me. (Never say never.. I know. Note to self – don’t offer if you don’t want to do something.
Andrea says
Very true Glory! Although in my house my kids are up at 530 so It could be done! I’m hoping one day (soon!) that changes however… 🙂
Brittany says
I can see why most of these things wouldn’t work. What is the downside of bribing with stickers? What should be done instead to get a difficult student to focus during a lesson?
Thanks for sharing.
Andrea says
Hi Brittany,
I’ve found that bribing with stickers means that you’re teaching kids that they always “get” something for completing a task. In the real world that doesn’t happen – you learn things to get better at a skill, not just to get a sticker. I “bribe” with other fun lesson activities (“3 more scales and we get to play this new theory game!” etc.) Stickers and candy are fine as a surprise but my pet peeve are kids who expect some sort of “thing” just for doing what they’re supposed to be doing in the first place! By doing the “play this and you get a sticker” you’re making it harder for them to develop any sort of intrinsic motivation. You want them to complete tasks and learn because it feels good and it’s enjoyable, not because they get an M&M after. Hope that makes sense! It’s just my opinion however, lots of teachers use stickers and candy 🙂
Kathy G says
This is such an interesting topic! I go back and forth, hem and haw, and use the occasional sticker, candy or etc. On the one hand, I still have my first piano books from 1960 (!!!) and I smile to see the stickers and the date. Some books have two sets — one for me, one for my brother. Good memories. In the long run, though, what I find most memorable, both in my childhood books and in the standard repertoire books I used in college, is the markings and handwritten notes by my TEACHERS.
My high school teacher, a Julliard grad and student of Rachmaninof (which I neither knew or cared about at the time!) shocked me by writing in my music in pen! He used a fountain pen, with turquoise blue ink, and it impressed the heck out of me. I immediately bought a cheap drugstore fountain pen and have been a fp nut ever since. Now I amuse myself by writing student notes (on stickies, though, not their actual music) with a fountain pen and turquoise blue ink. I hope to be corrupting a whole new generation with the fountain pen love.
But I digress. On the other hand, I tend to lose interest, myself, in any formal kind of ‘incentive’ or reward system I set up. I love making charts and figuring out games and levels and systems, but then I get bored after a couple of months and forget to keep track of it, much to the disappointment of some of my students. As a kid, though I enjoyed getting stars and stickers, it didn’t have much effect on my own practicing or learning. I was definitely in it for the intrinsic love of music, for myself. And I guess that’s why I don’t get super invested in non-intrinsic stuff for my kids, either. Poor dears, some of them love all that stuff.
When I do offer rewards I like them to be at least music-related. I know teachers give ‘goodies’ of all kinds, but I would rather give a music themed pencil or cute music notepad or xxxxxx..
On the subject of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation there is a very thought-provoking book, which I now see is 20 years old!!!! on this topic: ‘Punished by Rewards — The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes’ by Alfie Kohn
Deanna says
Simply put, adults get paid for their hard work, yet we don’t call that bribery. I have no problem “paying” my hard working kids with stickers or treats. When children put the time in and accomplish a task or skill, they should receive recognition.
Amy Boze says
I would love to hear the reason/story behind some of these!
Andrea says
You’ll probably like this post then Amy! https://www.teachpianotoday.com/2012/09/19/the-7-craziest-piano-lessons-ive-ever-taught/
Maria Peterson says
These were good! But #9 is impossible for me! I teach out of my home and I can only teach in the afternoon school is out, but that is when my own children are home as well!
Andrea says
This one was a personal choice of mine – I find it so stressful to be mom and teacher at the same time. But.. I know a lot of people make it work and that’s one of the many benefits of being a piano teacher (it CAN work!)… just not for my kids who seem to “need” something as soon as a student walks in 🙂
Sandra says
I have also always taught from a home studio. But when my kids were small, if some crisis came up, I would say, “Excuse me for a minute. This is something I have to deal with right now.” It didn’t happen often, and it didn’t take long. My kids gradually learned not to bother me unless it was important. It can be done.
Corinne says
Andrea, I’d love to see a post on exactly how you manage to balance your teaching schedule with being a parent!
Mary Gray says
Serve anything other than water for a beverage at a party or recital. If the food is appealing, no one even notices.
Angela says
Great list! I have a question about #18…so do you print colored sheets at all and if you do, where do you go? Or do you recommend printing all things in black and white?
Andrea says
Hi Angela – I send EVERYTHING to Staples. They have an online upload system that’s easy and it’s printed in 1 hour for a fraction of the cost of using my own ink (and it looks better too). Then I can also add heavy cardstock for games, laminating etc. if I need to. It’s saved me so much time (and money). Other office stores offer similar services. Worth looking into!
Susan says
… agree to teach on a Saturday. I’ve been dragged into it by one or two students the past couple of years. Just not worth tying up my weekend, and they often cancel last-minute.
Andrea says
That would have been my #38 – I taught Saturdays for about 8 years and am so happy to have my weekends free now!
Kelly says
Turn down a parent’s offer to help prepare food for the recital. What was I thinking?!
Holly Kukkonen says
#26 brings back memories – my husband’s secretary had to call my students and let them know not to come to lessons – I was in the hospital in labor, actually our son was born when lessons would have been held! And I thought I could hold out one more week! Note – that was 30 years ago, and that baby is a new dad, himself!
Andrea says
Me too Holly! I taught the afternoon that my 2nd daughter was born… I had her 4 hours after my last lesson!
Beth LaMee says
I taught until the day before I had my daughter last year. The recital was exactly a week before I had her. I didn’t have a back up plan because I was determined that I would not have her until my due date or later. Two days before the recital when my doctor said that I could have her any day, I realized “I should have come up with a back up plan” and then was frantically trying to find subs to be ready just in case. I learned my lesson!
Bridget says
My water broke with my first during a lesson!! It ended up fine, but being at home I have taught until the last minute with both of my pregnancies simply because I didn’t want to take more time off and could justify another week or two after baby is born!
Jeannie says
Have a pet day. I had gotten a new puppy and it was the end of school so thought ‘a pet day’ would be fun. How stupid could I be!
Andrea says
LOL! Good intentions… I can only imagine 🙂
Holly Kukkonen says
Have four siblings wait their turn for lesson time in my studio
Andrea says
Oh my goodness yes… been there…
Kathy G says
During an interview with a prospective student, refer to the tiny $65 electric keyboard from Walmart that the parent has just proudly showed me at the interview, saying, “this will be perfect for beginning lessons” ….. as a ‘toy’.
(It IS a toy, but there’s a more diplomatic way to talk about it!)
Andrea says
I wish they didn’t make those things…
Lavinia Livingston says
Wonderful, wonderful list to bring us all to our knees over past experiences and a great reminder that these fiascos need not be repeated but can be laughed at in retrospect.
#31 is so important. We all played senior or graduate recitals and we lose so much skill when we get bogged down in heavy teaching schedules. Martin Blickenstaff once said: “Play something beautiful every day before your first student walks in the door.”
Marianne Williams says
Yes. Marvin Blickenstaff was my teacher. He is the reason I keep my piano time for myself also!
Laura DeCesare says
Say “yes” when a student asks me to play at a piano party, and I haven’t practiced!!
Kathy G says
This is not quite the same thing, but would love to hear people’s comments and experiences and opinions about the teacher performing a solo at some point in the regular studio recitals?
SF says
Well, my old teacher plays every year at her recitals, I remember being really inspired by her playing….I reckon it’s a good idea. I also like the idea of the teacher doing a duet with the student.
Melissa Rusu says
When I was growing up, my piano teacher (many years earlier) had suffered a tragic accident in her kitchen which burnt off the top few layers of skin on her hand, so she wasn’t able to play. I remember being a kid and wishing with all my heart that I could hear her play. So, I always try to play “something” at each of my studio recitals–even if it’s just a duet with a student.
Diane Quick says
#2. I know someone that does this alot. You have to know your students level, which I am still learning too. #5. which is why I don’t teach C#minor pentascales to my students in 2nd year. Their minds go wha?
Karen Van Sickle says
Forget to ask prospective students/parents if they HAVE a piano/keyboard. I am amazed at the number of people who call wanting to begin lessons for their child and do NOT have a keyboard. It seems like a no-brainer to me that you would want to have a piano/keyboard if you are paying for your child to learn to play it! Even in this last month, a new student came for interview and schedule their lessons and parent said we are getting the piano tomorrow, and of course, I said GREAT…let’s begin! They still don’t have one 2 weeks later. NEVER AGAIN!
Andrea says
This is a great one Karen – and yes, there are a lot of “She’s going to practice at Grandma’s house” or similar. We live in Canada so I always compare it to signing up for hockey without having a pair of skates. That seems to hit home here LOL!
Sandra says
No kidding! In the days before electronic keyboards I just assumed that a family had a piano if they were inquiring about piano lessons. Now I have learned to ask. I will accept an electric piano if it is full size, has touch sensitive keys and a sustaining pedal. I would prefer them all to work on a good quality acoustic piano, though. I will not accept a new student if they don’t have a piano at home. The promise of “We are getting one at Christmas” won’t do, because I have had too many parents drag their feet on this. And practicing on a relative’s piano just isn’t practical. It never works out well.
Becky says
Yes! I never thought I’d have to ask, either. I had been teaching a student for a MONTH when the mom said they might be getting a keyboard soon. Umm, what?!? No wonder the student never practiced!
Jane says
Love #21 – made me laugh out loud! I have a few group classes that are all boys…and wow. Thank goodness I have sons, I am prepared for the energy level!
#31 – absolutely. I have to remember that my own practicing/performing really is a part of teaching. I can’t neglect it and I have been!
What a great list, thanks so much!
Denae says
I love the ones like the paperclips and the fish-tank the obviously have unfortunate experiences and stories behind them. 🙂
Joyce says
curious about #13? why? I send it to the parents via e-mail but most don’t give it to the students – I have lots of student related material in mine.
Andrea says
Hi Joyce,
In my studio I’ve found that the paper newsletters just don’t get read. They end up in the bottom of music bags and mini-vans. Parents get so many hand-outs at schools around here that it becomes just one more piece of paper in the shuffle. I’ve found that email (in the era of the iPhone) produces immediate results. I can tie it into my social media outlets and I can get answers back or action taken much sooner.
Julie says
I will never forget to confirm my recital date on the church’s calendar before showing up and finding a locked church.
SF says
LOL!!!
Andrea says
Oh dear… STRESS!
Sarah says
Agree to teach a child of a friend or someone from my church (social or family relationships). I had a really, really bad experience this year. Professional boundaries help so much! However, I do have one child I still teach in which this is not a problem, but her mom is exceptional!
Patricia Moore says
I’ve taught for twenty years and must say the world has changed. I would say kids have changed, however, through no fault of their own. When I first started teaching you could excite a kid with a contest. I turned myself inside out coming up with contests, activities etc.
As the years went by, even a sticker doesn’t mean much. If I do mention a contest the young kids are still keen but the older ones just shrug their shoulders (they don’t talk much these days).
It slowly burst my bubble and I gave up. I’ve had to take game boys away from students, because if it was in their pockets, their brains were not on the music lesson, but on their pockets.
It is a different world today. Learning a musical instrument isn’t as prevalent and important as it used to be. Parents are signing their kids up in sports to get them moving and away from all of the technology.
I understand where your list came from and why because I have the same list and enjoyed it very much. I’m sure you still give your best to your students as I do. I just don’t get all caught up in ‘what can I do so they will enjoy it?’ The lesson should be enough.
Becky says
Great tips! And I’ve gotta ask…what’s the story behind the fish tank? My husband just set one up in our house about 6 months ago, and it’s in the room where students and families wait during lessons. My students love it! But now you’ve made me nervous… 🙂
Heather Kolankowski says
I went so far as to offer gold fish as prizes to students………which was hilarious but then it occurred to me that the fish may not survive very long! I still have my prize shelf; modeled after Sylvan Learning Centre. It’s loaded with dollar store stuff….I keep it overflowing and stuffed and colorful……..students record their practice on their duotang calendars and earn ‘Notes”, which they can spend on a prize. They LOVE IT! It has worked so well over the years…….and big 1000 Note prizes are fun music books…..they practice away at home, it’s great!
What I will never do again: Say “no” to a student who wants to show me something…..no matter what it is, for the sake of lesson time. My families just know I run late……I love to hang out with their kids!
Andrea says
This is a great “never do” Heather – sometimes we’re so busy that we forget to stop and let kids show us or tell us something that may seem trivial to us, but is really important to them! Thanks for sharing.
Andrea says
Hi Becky,
My tank was right in my studio and it was an absolute magnet for my busy boys. Those poor fish had pencils poked at them, erasers “fed” to them and about a billion bangs on the side of their tank every day. It was a constant source of me having to re-focus my students. And I don’t blame them. Fish are fun to watch! I think you’re safe with a waiting area tank 😉
Becky says
Oh goodness, yes, that would really distract many of my students, too! 🙂
Heather says
I just volunteered to dye my hair pink for Valentine’s Week IF my entire studio maintains a certain practice average between now and then. I’ll let you know in a few weeks if we need to add this to the list. ; )
Andrea says
Oh wow – you are one cool teacher! Hope it washes out… 🙂
Heather says
It will most definitely wash out. I’m only “temporarily insane!”
Mary says
Two things-accept a student who has no in-home piano. I did that with 2 sisters who had to go to someone else’s house to practce-didn’t always happen. Secondly-I do have a candy dish on my piano for kids to help themselves at the end of the lesson. Years ago, I had a bowl of Runts on the piano-too many candies ended up inside the piano, much to the amusement/consternation of my tuner!!!!
Lori says
Regarding no. 9: I had 3 criteria for my kids to meet before knocking on the studio door to interrupt a lesson. 1. Is someone bleeding and you can’t stop it? 2. Is someone asleep and you can’t wake them up? 3. Is there water running and you can’t stop it? I think there might have been one about fire, too. Every time one of my kids knocked on the door during a lesson, I would ask the questions. They learned not to bother me during the lesson but waited till in between for me to settle anything that needed a Mom-tervention.
Adriana says
I don’t bring spare copies of music, rather strongly encourage everyone through a recital etiquette email to bring their own music as part of being prepared on recital day….. I have enough going on!
Great list.
Linda says
I will never again NOT ask a parent “do you have a piano in your home for your son or daughter to practice on”. When I said “this is what we will practice at home” and the responce was “ I don’t have a piano”. That’s a problem!