I’m a big fan of pros and cons lists. They’re very systematic and it helps me to take the emotion out of almost every decision and then look at it logically. We are often asked questions surrounding whether or not a student should be “let go” (obviously a very emotionally-charged situation) and so we’ve created the “Should I Let This Student Go” Checklist.
Personally, 90% of the time the negatives associated with letting a student go far outweigh the positives and I adjust my approach rather than let a student go. I believe in the importance of music education for every child very strongly and I can usually make changes that end up bettering the situation to the point where everyone is happy. However, this is very much a case-by-case consideration and one that involves a lot of considerations.
So, the next time you’re faced with this quandary, grab a pen and paper. Create a Yes column and a No column. Place a checkmark on the correct side for each of the questions below.
The “Should I Let This Student Go?” Checklist:
1. Are you having trouble separating your personal time from this issue (in terms of time, stress, emotions, etc.)?
2. Is the child disinterested in piano lessons? Has she stopped practicing… progressing?
3. Are you financially okay to potentially lose the income from this piano student if you aren’t able to replace her for more than 6 months?
4. (If it is behavior-related) Have you exhausted all resources and teaching techniques in an attempt to help this student?
5. Has this child always been a difficult piano student?
6. Do you feel as though you are not assisting this child to the best of your ability and that she may be better off with a different teacher?
7. At this moment in time, is this child’s life outside of piano lessons relatively stable and calm?
8. Has your relationship with this child’s parents always been strained or shaky?
9. Are you uncomfortable letting this student represent your piano studio in public performances, school talent shows, etc.?
10. Is your ability to effectively run your studio being hampered by this one issue?
11. Have you had more than 2 face-to-face conversations with the parents after which no change took place?
12. (If it’s a studio policy issue)… Were the parents informed of your policy in writing before they began at your studio?
13. Have you changed your approach in more than 2 ways in an attempt to rectify the situation but the issue is still unresolved?
Here’s The Verdict
When finished, add up the checkmarks. If the Yes column outweighs the No column, it likely indicates that you feel it is time to part ways and let the student go.
But… most importantly, assess your initial response to the outcome. Do you feel good about the result? Use the combination of these two factors to make your decision as, sometimes, your heart’s feelings are as important as your head’s.
Josie says
Thanks for this advice. It feels a natural instinct to keep every student for as long as you possibly can, no matter what, and of course it is important to exhaust every alternative first. However, occasionally there are such big issues like long-term lack of practice or complete non-interest in the lessons or their child’s progress from the parents that it is comforting to know that sometimes, letting go is the best solution, if the situation is causing you unnecessarily high levels of stress or grief. Thank you for your reassurance.
Diane Cooke says
Going through that with a young lady but I was thinking back last evening as I listened to a young man (now a junior in HS) play a beautiful Moonlight Sonata that he has slowly worked through. Twice he wanted to quit and twice I wanted him to quit because he came with such poor skills and it was so hard. He wasn’t practicing enough and lessons were almost painful. At the end of 7th grade, he said he wanted to learn “Fur Elise” and I gave it to him thinking it wasn’t going to happen. He came back from summer with the piece not only well de-constructed but with nuance and feeling in his playing. If I had dropped him…… So now, back to that young lady. I appreciate your check points.
Andrea says
A great perspective Diane – thank you!
Andrea says
Great points Josie – thanks for commenting!
Heather says
I also tend to hang on for dear life with stubborn determination. This list will help me see when it is in my best interest and my student’s best interest to move on. Thank you! Uber helpful.
Andrea says
Hi Heather – me too 🙂 Glad you found the post helpful.
Sandra says
I would add one thing to the list: Is it worth the ill will that might result — this is especially true in a small or tight-knit community. You are going to run into these people at Walmart or the grocery store. Bad feelings can roll on for years!
That being said, I have one student I would like to let go. I have tried every trick in the book, including setting some of the time aside for singing instruction. The girl has little ability, and just isn’t interested. It is her parents who insist on her staying on ‘for the good of being a well-rounded person’. She is in high school now, and I say they have given it a fair try. If they still insist on her taking lessons next year, I will recommend dropping piano altogether and just doing singing. At least there is that option, because I teach piano AND singing in my studio.
Andrea says
Hi Sandra – a good point.. and a topic for another blog post would be how to let a student go without creating ill will. Small communities (and wal-mart!) are difficult in this way – you don’t want to have to avoid people when you’re out and about 🙂 Having a second instrument to offer is the perfect solution if you enjoy the student. Thanks for your comment!
Rebecca Brown says
Helpful post. I am having this debate with myself about a current student. Lots of potential, but is not getting regular good practice. Part of the problem is unusual parent rules, though. She is 10 years old, and is expected to go to bed at 7pm….. no exceptions. Therefore, piano practice does not happen on days when she has honor choir after school, or when she has church. So, the decision to drop her is going to come down to deciding if I am willing to expect the parents to change bedtime to accommodate piano practice.
Andrea says
Maybe as she goes to bed so early she gets up early and has time for practice before school on those days? That’s when my daughter practices and then play-dates, sports etc. don’t ever interfere. 7 is early… I’m a bit envious of the time her parents have in the evenings LOL! 🙂
Mary says
I’ve only ever let one student go and it was because of ongoing problems with the mother, not the little girl. Chronic payment issues, difficult attitude, covert threats… it was awful. And yes, she signed a contract. The last straw was when they had H1N1 and came for a lesson anyway. I’ve had my shot, but some of my students haven’t. It was such a relief not to have to deal with that woman again.
Andrea says
Hi Mary – this is when it’s difficult isn’t it… when it’s not an issue with the student at all. I always feel for these children. However, being a piano teacher with that kind of stress is not helpful to anyone!
Kimberly Taylor says
I’ve only had to let one student go and it was such a challenge for me because I agree that every child deserves music education. This child, unfortunately, had severe ADHD. He didn’t want to do anything I had offered for him to do in the lessons and would throw things around the studio, wander around, yell, act up anyway he could. The parents also never paid and never offered to pay anything although my policy is to pay up front. Dad seemed clueless in general. I ended up giving them a month worth of free lessons because I felt bad about having to “give up” on them but I wasn’t getting any support from the parents and this child obviously was way outside of my comfort zone to even try and sort out. And I’ve had a lot of ADD/ADHD students in my day. Most of the time however, I will work feverishly to find a way to make my time with each student work. Since very few of my families put time into practice, this is an ongoing challenge to keep motivated students. Things move very slow but if I keep shifting my approach, they do eventually learn something.