I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at taking constructive criticism. OK… That’s a lie. I’m horrible at it. Let me start again, “I’d like to be pretty good at taking constructive criticism”. My skin is thin, what can I say.
But sometimes a good dose of honesty can be the one thing that launches someone from “okay” to “amazing”… and so I am going to tell you about a little experiment that I did. If you too have thin skin (or even if you have thick skin and the attitude of “bring it on!”) then you might want to give it a try too.
Does This Piano Bench Make Me Look… Confusing?
I’ve recorded myself teaching before in an effort to check in on what I look and sound like to my students, and it was a valuable exercise. However, I know that it’s not always easy to be 100% honest with yourself when you’re listening to a recording or watching a video. You either think “Wow… I’m an ace!” or you go the opposite direction and pick apart anything and everything.
So the good dose of honesty needs to come from someone who is not you. And that someone is about to have a freebie piano lesson with you in exchange for brutal, unedited, unabashed, let-‘er-loose feedback (both good and bad).
We recently purchased a digital piano for Trevor’s mom (I can’t bring myself to call her my mother-in-law as that comes with such horrible connotations… and she’s a wonderful person). She hasn’t done anything musical at all. Ever. But what seemed like a shot-in-the-dark gift quickly turned into a sparked interest for her. She’s a practicing fiend. But in my little episodes of teaching her, I gained the brutal honesty I was needing.
What Do YOU need to hear?
No matter how small, her feedback was valuable, and I was able to make changes right away in my very next scheduled lesson with my other students. Here’s the “brutal honesty” points I discovered…
1) I talk too fast. I knew this from recording myself, but to hear someone say it was a good reminder.
2) My writing is often too messy to figure out (seems insignificant… but it’s actually a really good thing to know!)
3) I need to avoid adding too many challenges at one time (I was getting excited by her progress and adding more and more extensions to what she was learning). This was a great reminder of the importance of allowing my students to enjoy reaching a goal before moving it on them.
4) I say “Excellent!” even when my student knows it wasn’t really that excellent. I’m a positive person and this is a hard habit to break… but I do know that praise that is not genuine quickly becomes insignificant… and then “Excellent!” is just an annoyingly overused word.
I was not completely surprised by her feedback… but it was a really good check-in and I find myself mentally addressing these four points in every lesson now. It’s made me a better teacher.
And so I challenge you to grab your best friend, your sister, your cousin, or your co-worker, give them a beginning piano lesson and ask for their honest feedback. But avoid teaching your spouse… we don’t want to be causing any marital strife on the TPT blog 😉
Bradley Sowash says
I”m guilty of all 4.
Andrea says
Glad to hear it Bradley 😉
Wendiann Trent says
Yes, this check in activity is a good thing. I ask for feedback periodically by having my students list 3 things I do well and 3 things I need to improve with their lesson experience. This activity always brings good insight and keeps me on my toes. I have seen the four comments Andrea mentioned in my reviews. At the end of each lesson, I have begun to ask if they have any questions and then highlight the priorities in order or their “focus activities” for the week. It has been great! Being open to feeback has been a very positive experience for me. Thank you Andrea!
Andrea says
Great idea Wendiann! Do you find that your students are willing to be honest with you about your “need to improve?” We live in a culture where people are so hesitant to be truly honest for fear of hurting feelings. Sometimes this does us more harm than good as people don’t hear what needs to be said (although some things are best left unsaid!) I’m going to try this with my students too – see if they’ll be “brutally honest”. Thanks for your comment!
Linda Fotis says
Dear Andrea, I love how you are always tweaking and challenging yourself as a teacher. Even though, you have to be the best in the land. Tell your ‘mother-in-law’, she’s a genuis. I bet every piano teacher can learn a lesson or two from her. I’m guilty too. Maybe we can all SKYPE teach her for our feed back.
Andrea says
I will most definitely pass on the “Your Mother In Law Is a Genius”…. I’ll score major brownie points with what one LOL 😉
Sarah Arnold says
Great post, thank you. We all need reminders to slow down, be clear and focus on essentials. Thanks, Sarah in Belgium
Andrea says
Hi Sarah – we LOVE Belgium!! We were there about 7 years ago in Brugge and it was so beautiful. Yes, slowing down and striving for clarity is so hard to remember, but so important. Thanks for your comment!
Kristi Negri says
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. ugh.
Thanks for the post (sorta.) I’m printing out your points and putting them on my planning table to remind me.
Andrea says
He he… well I know I’m starting to feel MUCH better knowing I’m not alone in my 4 “bad habits”. Thanks for commenting Kristi!
Angela says
Yup…guilty as charged! lol but this is GREAT to know! I would love to record myself teaching, but that’s scary to me! But I am willing to become better and more professional. Thank you for sharing this!
Andrea says
Hi Angela – recording myself was one of the “yuckiest” things I’ve done… but wow did I gain some good insights!
Cynthia says
Down here in the US, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Finding your site a few months ago is one of the things I’m giving thanks for this year. My students love everything you do. I don’t know when you find time to sleep! Just know that you’re greatly appreciated.
Andrea says
Hi Cynthia – that’s so sweet! We’re actually in the US right now and so we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving for a second time along with you 😉 Thanks so much for your very kind comments!
Sarah says
This sounds like it was written for me! #3 especially right now…..this little quote has helped me out lately…
“A student is always motivated to practice if they feel capable when they leave their lesson”
When things are going well, I am tempted to pile on the new stuff…with my messy writing!
Thanks for all you do!