If you’re not used to having parents sit in on piano lessons, but then there is one who asks, “Can I stay and watch?” What do you do?
When we’re trying to get parents on board with being an active participant in their child’s piano education it seems counter productive to refuse their lesson involvement. But… it can be really awkward (for some) to be teaching while another person is watching, and often the child behaves differently than he or she would without Mom or Dad in the room.
So what are you to do?! Well, begin by checking out our tips below... and even if you don’t have piano parents sitting in on lessons you’ll probably find yourself inviting them in every now and again 🙂
Making Parents An Active Participant in The Lesson Process
Many teachers complain that parents who sit in on lessons interrupt, distract, chat or (even worse) text during lesson time. But with a clear plan in mind of how to make the parents an active participant in the lessons, you can actually gain a lot of benefit from them being there.
Check out our list below for how parents can become a welcome addition to the piano lesson process.
1) Your note-taker: My mom sat in on my lessons from the age of 5-8 and she took all of the lesson notes for my piano teacher (it was actually required of her). This way, she knew exactly what she was doing when it came to my home practice time because she was well informed of what needed to be accomplished. Have a well-organized lesson sheet ready (check out our free printable ones here) and ask the parent to listen to the feedback you give their child during the lesson and then make notes as to what to practice.
2) A Piano Game Companion: Add some bonding time to the lesson by including the parent as the 2nd player in your piano games. If they can’t read music or don’t know the concept, it’s actually better. Each time it is “their turn” their child can explain to them what needs to be done and why. Teaching someone else is a wonderful way to learn. Your student will actually be reinforcing their knowledge twice during the game (once during their own turn and then again as they help Mom or Dad).
3) A Cheering Squad: I have silly signs in my studio that I give to parents if I invite them in on a lesson. They say things like “Holy Smokes You’re on Fire!” and “I Have Goosebumps.” I want my piano parents to be undyingly encouraging and supportive and these signs communicate this in a humorous way. Make your own based on your own sense of humor and ask the parent to hold up their choice of sign at any point during the lesson to give some warm fuzzies to their child. This usually results in a lot of laughter and an all-round “good” feeling during lesson time.
4) A media-collector: I use a lot of audio recording, video recording and photos that I send home with students as practice aids. Pass on these tasks to Mom or Dad, and you now have a free hand/voice to assist even further as you audio or video record or create pictures (hand position, posture etc.) that can be emailed or texted to the parent to help at home.
5) A motivator: This one is a silent job that the parent doesn’t even know they have… but they act as your motivator to provide the absolute best lesson you can. Knowing someone is observing keeps you on your toes, encourages you to mix up your teaching practices and inspires you to use new materials and resources. What feels awkward is usually being unprepared or unsure. With your “silent motivator” in the room, you’ll be sure to be uber-prepared and confident… and this leads to better teaching all round.
Parents Are Our Partners!
Another fabulous spin-off of having parents sit in on lessons (if they are an active and helpful participant) is that the bond between teacher and parent quickly becomes quite strong. If a parent sees first-hand how fun, engaging, and knowledgeable you are as a piano teacher, most of the typical “piano teacher headaches” we all deal with daily will become a distant memory.
So… the next time parents ask if they can sit in on a lesson, welcome them with open arms… and a job list!
If you want to keep the ball rolling and continue parent involvement at home then you’ll definitely want to check out our story-based technique resource, TEDDtales. Even if your piano parents have no musical ability at home, TEDDtales can help them to help their children have a blast with technical exercises. You can learn all about TEDDtales here.
Kathy G says
Great post! I think every teacher should consider having parents sit in on lessons at least now and then. You are spot on with all the reasons above. I actually require parents to sit in on every lesson (for younger kids) for the first 2-3 months. They take lesson notes and I include them in games and all kinds of early learning processes. They can improvise along with the two of us just as well as beginning students can. And as you say, they become the teacher’s ally. If we don’t have parental support at home, we are wasting our time with the students at lessons — and they are wasting their money. Another reason I ask parents to sit in on early lessons, even if they are older, is so they can see for themselves that I am an ok person for them to leave their kid with! And I was as insecure in the beginning as you were — but I am an absolute believer now. Great words of wisdom!
Andrea says
Great points Kathy – thanks for chiming in!
Leia says
I’ve definitely done the game participant thing! Great post!
Milla says
Actually, I ASK parents to sit on lessons, and in the end of the lesson I answer their questions, and explain how they can help. Even if they text or play with their phones, they catch something. Most of older kids’ parents prefer to go shopping during lesson time, and I don’t force them to be present.
Michaela says
Nice ideas! Parents in my studio always just enjoy sitting there. I can’t wait to use the game idea. Thanks as always!
Amy says
What happens when you have a parent who tries to “help” you teach, by interjecting directions to their child? Ugh.
Joy says
There is a big difference between the supportive parent who sits at a distance and quietly observes…and the controlling parent who hovers at the piano bench. Sometimes you just need to teach proper lesson etiquette to those parents!
Jenni says
I have them sit a safe distance away! If they start to ‘chip in’ I explain (quickly and politley) that I will take care of things and that the student’s attention needs to be undivided.
Deb says
I love having parents at the lesson. I really think the triangle of teacher- student-parent is so important. Each of us has an equal investment in the lesson. I have found that when the parent fulfills his/her equal role the progress is so much faster and there is so much more enjoyment for all three of us. Students seem to enjoy when I give the parent a specific assignment for the week. “Your job this week is to find 3 YouTube performances of this piece for you both to watch and compare.” “Your job this week is to be the ‘finger police’ and the student can not complain when you catch a wrong fingering.” “Your job this week is to get a deck of cards only for piano practice- pull out all the 1-4’s since there are 4 parts in this piece. If the card is red student may read that part. If the card is black student is to try that part by memory.”
Nodira says
Great help as always!!! I always have on my lessons parents, but now it will be great to try involve them in learning games and activities as you suggested and I love the idea of cheering signs:))
Thank you very much for great ideas and advises!!!
caroline says
I get very excited when the parent wants to learn alongside their child. I often ask the child to “teach” or “help” their parent in the class or at home to make sure they understand what I have been teaching them. Also as a learning tool, duets are fantastic, even if child does one hand and parent does the other.
Kathy Wilson says
I am delighted with the many comments from teachers who encourage and invite parental involvement! As a teacher of a-hem some number of years–decades– I love to see parents sitting in on lessons– It is my studio–no one gets to “run/manage” the lesson time but me. Yet I find that parents understand what is going on and help with practice time this way.
Hannah says
I recently had a parent ask me if I had anything in particular for them to do to help with their child’s practice at home? I was pleasantly surprised to receive this question, and wasn’t quite sure what to recommend. I just asked them to make sure their child practices regularly, and that they complete all assignments given. Do you have any suggestions that I can pass on to my “piano parent”?
Elizabeth says
I am a fairly newer teacher and I hate when parents sit in. I have a shy, sensitive temperament so I feel so awkward when they’re watching me–like my “boss” is looking over my shoulder at every move I make. I am a much less creative, experimental teacher when I have someone else there. I guess I may have to find a different career, because if I never had to interact with the parents, I would be happy!
Meg Miller says
I have always urged a parent to attend the lessons of the younger children. They write the assignment, and that frees me up to teach, and saves me the time it would take for me to write everything as we go. Pull a chair right up to the piano for them. They sit on one side of the student, and you are on the other side. They seldom ever try to interject or disrupt the lesson, and they can be such a great help at home, because they know what needs to be accomplished for advancement.