When you go on vacation are you an overpacker? Does your husband or wife have to sit on your suitcase as you force a zipper to its breaking point?
No matter how big the suitcase is there is never enough room.
And so it is with piano lessons… it always feels as if there is never enough time. We see most students once a week, often for only 30 minutes. And so those 30 minutes start to feel like the aforementioned suitcase. And in our rush to cram, cram… and cram some more we can forget about the most important part of the piano lesson process… connecting with our piano students.
Students come to you to learn piano but its important to rephrase this statement and realize that students come to learn piano FROM YOU… not from a computer, not from another teacher, but from you.
And if they like you and connect with you and enjoy your company, your studio will thrive and your day-to-day work will start to feel a lot less like work.
So today I wanted to share a few helpful tips for building positive relationships while still jamming that suitcase full of piano teaching goodness.
How To Inject Your Personality Into Piano Lessons
Kids love interesting people. Kids love to learn from interesting people. So you need to share with your students just how interesting you are. And you can do this by:
1. Teaching With Stories
My grade seven teacher was obsessed with baseball… and in particular the Toronto Blue Jays. And as luck would have it, when I was in grade seven the Toronto Blue Jays won the World Series. To celebrate the victory, we spent an entire month learning about the science of baseball. His passion for baseball obviously spilled over into this teaching unit and he managed to captivate the class all the while covering the necessary learning outcomes.
You can do the same thing when teaching piano. Maybe you went on a vacation to Ireland recently… Bingo!… Perfect time to reinforce those 6/8 rhythms while sharing with your student the amazing adventures you had.
2. Decorate Your Piano Studio With Accents Of You
Kids want to know that there is more to you than piano teaching. Share “silly bits of you” in your studio decorations. Placing the odd photo of you drag-racing a car or riding in a hot air balloon on your wall will make you a lot more “human”. Pennants from your favorite football team, a poster of a beloved musical, a framed picture of your very first piano… these are all great touches of “you”. The more you share with your students, the more chance your students will have in finding a common connection to you beyond just music.
However… don’t go overboard with thematic decorations. A studio decorated wall to wall with pictures of George Clooney is just plain weird. Sorry George Clooney fans 🙂
3. Share your Quirky Musical Tastes
Your piano students are going to assume that you are a fan of classical music, but do they also know that you do a mean lip sync to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space”? That’s just an example… and has nothing to do with my own quirky musical tastes… and now you’re wondering if I am joking or not…
4. Make Meaningful Connections At The Beginning of Every Lesson
Out of habit, teachers will usually ask piano students about their day. But to go beyond the superficial, listen closely to what they share and find a way to relate something in your personal life to whatever it is that happened in their day. Let them know that the two of you aren’t all that different.
5. Share Your Favorite Treats
Truth be told, I added this final point mostly to justify the fact that I have been known keep a bowl of Cadbury Mini Eggs on the top of my piano. Sometimes I’ll share…
How To Connect In The First 5 Minutes
One of the greatest times to build meaningful connections is in the first few minutes of a piano lesson. In the comments below, tell the Teach Piano Today community what the first 5 minutes of your piano lessons look like…
Denise says
I always start by asking them about their week. I try to remember things they have told me, such as if they were going on a vacation, and I ask them specific things about it. I think they like that I am really listening to what they tell me. And I try to remember to smile at them. It is not always 5 minutes but it gets things off to a good, and personal, start.
Andrea says
This is so important, isn’t it Denise!? Kids really respond to you remembering something they’ve told you – it shows that you find them interesting and important. Sometimes I’ll even make notes in my binder to remind me what they told me so I don’t forget 🙂
Debbie Federer says
Good idea. There is so much making the wheels in our brains turn. It’s good to write down the important things that our students care about.
Maryann says
With 60+ students I always make short notes in my schedule about those important little conversations. I also keep notes in my calendar for each one’s birthdays and make a point to wish them a “Happy Birthday”.
SonicPiano says
I’m a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and have a collection of those cute Pop bobblehead Marvel characters in my studio. Dancing Groot from “Guardians of the Galaxy” currently occupies the place of honor on top of the piano. The boys tend to be bigger fans of the movies than the girls and love to tell me about their favorite characters. The cuteness of the dolls draws the girls in and sparks conversations about their favorites and why. A number of my students also take tae kwan do. They often spend a few minutes at the beginning or end of class teaching me basic TKD patterns and in return I teach them yoga poses. Equally important is to connect with the parents. It makes those difficult conversations about a struggling student or slow payment a lot easier, and they provide the best free advertising through word of mouth.
Andrea says
Love it! I can certainly see kids loving that. And yes, such a good point about connecting with parents. They are our greatest ally and our greatest form of advertising if you have a strong connection and you are so right in that a strong connection can almost eliminate the typical “piano teacher headaches” we all deal with. For those wondering “how” to do this – we blogged about it in this post here: https://www.teachpianotoday.com/2013/10/14/5-ways-to-bond-with-piano-studio-parents-and-why-you-should/
Barbara says
Especially for summer, I ask student “WHAT have you been doing today?” instead of “how are you” or “how has your day been” where you just get the answer “fine.” That way you can spark some conversation. Example — Student: “I went to swim lessons.” Teacher: “Cool! I took swim lessons when I was your age. It took me a while to get used to opening my eyes underwater; how about you?”
Also, I make notes when they tell me they are going to a camp/vacation/party and ask them about it at the next lesson. Again asking specific questions (what was your favorite part? how long did it take to get there?) not just “how was it?” where they will usually give you the answer “fine.”
Andrea says
That’s a great tip Barbara! So many times you’ll just get a “fine” or “nothing” and then your conversation has died and you’ve lost that chance for a connection. I love your wording – thanks for sharing 🙂
Maria Laura Tumbeiro says
What I did recently, inspired in one of your posts, is to play the “invisible friend” game, in which I assigned each student a friend (another student of my studio) I prepared four questionaires, one for each week,( I played this game during one month) and this questionaires had all personal questions about the students, such as ” whats your favorite soccer team”, “whats your pet’s name”, etc, and some musical questions as “How much time do you practise per day” or “Do you prefer better the G Cleff or the F Cleff” etc, so I sent to my students these questionaires each week by maik, they completed it at home, bring it to the class next week completed and I give these to the correspondiing student, the one that be assigend as the invisible friend, so It’ s a way to know each student better, and they get to know other students of the studio. At the end I organized a Pijama Concert, inthe afternoon, with games, a little concert and snacks 🙂 so they meet with their Invisible Friend.
Andrea says
Hi Maria – so happy to hear you ran with that idea and made it work for your studio! I absolutely love the PJ concert idea (stealing!) For those interested, the post Maria is referring to is below: https://www.teachpianotoday.com/2013/10/09/how-to-help-your-students-make-friends-with-music/
Dayna says
My students are allowed to swim in my pool after their lessons if their parent is willing to LIFE GUARD –
My grandchildren interact with them and we become a real family –
I am willing to work around their vacations and change our schedules and everyone is willing to move or change days on a week they can so they can change their schedules on a week they are gone etc. It works out really well so far – but this is during the summer and we discuss all of their vacations plans and then upon their return they get to share with each other. I make sure everyone knows each other and encourages others by listening to their GREAT accomplishments on the piano – it prepares them for our recitals that we do twice a year – Feb/Mar & Sept/Oct
I taught 20 years ago when my children were small then I started again 3 years ago when my parents became aging and needed me I can care for them in the mornings and do piano in the afternoons.
They also interact with the students when if they are here occassionally. It is definately a family friendly environment. We have great participation at the recitals so far –
Andrea says
Your studio sounds like a lovely place to be Dayna! … now I’ve to got to put in a pool … oh darn 😉
Denise West says
During the first 5 minutes, we start with a game. If siblings, both siblings come in for a 10-minute game. They love it! Thank you, Andrea and Trevor for your awesome piano game club! Also, I NEVER schedule back-to-back 30 minute lessons (unless they are siblings). Each student has a 45 minute time slot, even if the lesson is only 30 minutes. This gives me time to connect with the parent either at the beginning of the lesson or after when I explain what was accomplished during the lesson, how the student did and what needs to be worked on during the week. If I go over my 30 minutes, I don’t panic, because I have that extra time scheduled for the student. It is so important to take time each week to connect with student AND the parent/guardian. It really is a teacher-student-parent relationship. 🙂
Andrea says
Hi Denise! So happy to hear you are enjoying the PianoGameClub games. I love using games with overlapping siblings too – nothing like a little rivalry to get that theory knowledge pumping! Thanks for sharing your tip about having time in between – I can see that being of great benefit.
Kathy (Sydney-Australia) says
This is an interesting topic because if you can engage your kids in the first 5minutes I believe you have them hooked for the remainder of the lesson. I will often ask how their day ,week or holidays were and often I get the reply .. Goooood -but it’s knowing when to tap into something meaningful to them like continuing a little discussion from something that happened in previous weeks so they they are keen to expand . It’s so important to smile and talk like your so interested BUT be careful not to fall into the trap of letting the discussion go on and on. You can end with a little joke . The greatest pull I have on my kids at the moment are my cat and dog Miskha and Marley . We often discuss them with the excitement of a little play with them both at the end of the lesson if they are good.
Andrea says
It’s so true – the first 5 minutes can really set the tone for the entire lesson. Great point, Kathy, about avoiding getting too far into chit-chat 🙂 That can be hard for some kids. I have a dog named Marley too!
Juanita says
Miss Piggy is my hero and I have some Miss Piggy items on a shelf above my piano. When we are playing games on the floor and we are short one person (or now, even if we’re not short one person), Missy Piggy will step in and join our game. I’ll be her voice (in my best Miss Piggy voice) and the students have to talk to her-not me. We all have a lot of laughs!
Andrea says
This sounds like an absolute hoot Juanita 🙂
jenny says
I love to let my students tell me how they are feeling today by them coming in silently, going straight to the piano, and playing a scale that reflects their mood of the moment. Even the littles love to do this. It gives me time to observe them closely, think about how our time together will be best spent, and incorporate that expression of themselves into their music that day. It takes such a tiny amount of time but it can inform all that we do for the lesson time in a way that is deeply meaningful for us both.
Andrea says
What a thoughtful approach Jenny – I’m going to remember this one!
Melissa says
Love Jenny’s idea! Thanks for sharing!
I spend several minutes engaging with my teen girls as well to help us direct the lesson time. I’ve had a few lessons over the years where very little music was played, but we talked about music being their ‘go to’ during tough times (bullying, death in family, stressful school times). I’ve shared a few of my own ‘go to’ pieces for different moods and I’ve been able to connect with some of my teens in powerful ways. There are times when I believe the connection (however made) is more important than any ‘lesson plan.’ My younger students just like knowing that I ask about their teachers, friends, activities and pets.
Andrea says
Such true words Melissa – I can tell your students are lucky to have you in their lives! Teens can really make a connection with their piano teacher that can carry them through a lot of rough spots – and what a privilege it is that we get to be the one they turn to and that we get to show them how music can heal and inspire. Thanks for sharing your comment!