It’s the time of year when I find myself saying “goodbye” to some of my teen piano students as they graduate or move to private schools for their last years in high school. They are making decisions about whether or not they will continue with their piano studies in their new locations.
And they are making these decisions at what is likely the busiest and most stressful time in their young lives: graduation.
As I listened to one of my beloved students explain to me that university sports conflicts and the threat of increased homework meant that she was likely not going to continue piano lessons, I found myself composing a letter to her in my mind… a letter filled with all of the things I wanted to tell her… all of the reasons that I wanted her to continue playing… all of the reasons I was so glad that many of my past teen students had continued on with piano when faced with similar “life moments”.
When she left, I sat down and wrote that letter out… and I plan on giving it to all of my future teens as they head out my studio door and into the first phase of “adulthood”. It is not written to be a “student saver” (they are not my students to keep anymore anyway) but as a “Hey… I want you to know this…” from one heart that has been touched by music to another.
Feel free to use my letter, adapt it as needed or… share your own thoughts in the comments below… what do you wish your teen piano students knew before they quit piano?
10 Things To Tell A Teen Before They Quit Piano
Dear Student,
Did you know we’ve spent almost 200 hours together since you started piano lessons? Did you also know that those 200 hours were some of the most enjoyable times I’ve ever spent teaching? I feel fortunate to have been your teacher and I am so excited for what the future holds for you.
You’re at a moment in your life when you’re making some big decisions… where you’re going to go to school, where you’ll live, which program you’re going to pursue… and I know you’ll also be deciding whether or not you’re going to continue with piano lessons. I know life feels overwhelming at the moment.
But before you do what feels easiest and choose to simply move on from piano, I’d love to share some thoughts on why I would be so happy to see you continue to take piano lessons in your new location.
- I’ve seen the piano provide an escape for you from the pressures of friends and school and work and homework. Your piano was something you could rely on as a break from all of that… a few moments in your day when you could just make beautiful music. Not everyone has the ability to escape into something like that and those who don’t, certainly wish they did. When life tries to take over, you can hold it at bay… even just for a few minutes… by playing the piano. Your heart will thank you.
- All of the hours you’ve spent at the piano are just about to pay off. You’ve worked your way through the “beginner phase”, you’ve pushed through the “When will I be good enough to play…” stage and now you’re at the doorstep of having the ability to play whatever you want. You’re an advanced pianist and very few people in this world can say that. You’ve invested so much time in honing your abilities that it seems a shame to stop at the very moment when you’ve reached the goal you had in mind when you started lessons 10 years ago.
- School is expensive. Part-time jobs don’t pay that well. But your piano skills have the ability to put you ahead of the game in the work world. If you keep up your piano playing you’ll be able to accompany, teach, join a band, play for weddings… you name it! All of these things pay better than most student jobs. You’ve worked hard at the piano… now let it work for you!
- Being a pianist means you’ll meet the most amazing people that you would have likely never connected with otherwise. The music world is filled with wonderfully creative people and your piano skills are your ticket into that world. Don’t miss out on the soul-food that collaborative music-making provides. The friendships you’ll make because of your piano will be the ones you will cherish for years.
- Continuing with your piano studies doesn’t mean you have to practice every day for the rest of your life; you’re an adult now… you make the rules. But setting a goal for yourself to continue with lessons and to continue to use your piano skills will mean you will keep progressing. It’s so hard to re-start… it’s so much easier to keep on going!
- And… continuing with your piano also doesn’t mean you need to continue to play Sonatinas and Minuets. Explore pop, jazz… join a techno funk band. Surprise me, I dare you 🙂
- High-level piano skills looks great on a resume. Put yourself in the shoes of your future employer. What does 10+ years of commitment to learning the piano tell you about the person whose resume you are holding? That they are determined? Diligent? Creative? Tenacious? Can you think of better words to describe a valuable employee? Nope! Plus, your ability to make connections between music, art, architecture and history will mean you’ll be an interesting and educated conversationalist in any setting.
- The moment that you start university you’ll likely feel like a very little fish in a great big pond. It’s at times like these when you really need to feel as though you make a difference, and sharing music with others is a meaningful way of doing this. You will feel the need to reach out and connect, to help others, to bring a smile to a stranger’s face. Sit down at the piano and I promise all of these things will happen.
- The world is changing rapidly. Jobs that were once imperative are now done by computers. We have no idea what the future holds, but what we do know is that music will stand the test of time. The world will always need musicians. Your piano skills are the one thing you can take with you that will always be applicable and will never become redundant.
- There is more beautiful music in this world than you could ever play in a lifetime. Cutting your time at the piano short mean thats you will miss so much of that wonderful music. Life is short… fill it with things that are marvellous and that make you happy.
As I piano teacher I hear “I wish I hadn’t stopped piano lessons” all the time. It would make me so happy to hear the opposite from you when we meet years from now. You are so talented and you’ve worked so hard. Congratulations on everything you have achieved.
With all of my best wishes for your future and with immense gratitude for the times we’ve shared. Please do keep in touch.
Your Piano Teacher
Another Great Way To Motivate Teens…
Aside from this letter, my parting gift to my teenage students is: 1) a beautifully-organized piano binder filled with everything they’ve worked on with me over the past few years and 2) a brand new book of repertoire that I hope will entice them to keep on playing.
If you’d also love to inspire the teens in your studio, then June’s PianoBookClub book of the month is exactly what you’re looking for. For $8 you can print unlimited copies so you can hand out motivation and inspiration to all of the teens in your studio!
Judith says
What a beautiful heartfelt letter Andrea! It brought tears to my eyes…and the parting gifts is a wonderful thoughtful idea! These teens are like my baby birds leaving the nest:( Thanks for sharing:)
Andrea says
Love that – they are just like baby birds 🙂 soany hours together – you can’t help but care so much about them!
Linda H. says
That was just beautiful and inspiring. Just what I need since I also have grads this year and in the next several years. We love our students….like Judith says..”my baby birds leaving the nest.” It is so true and we have shared so MANY hours together. What a great way to start out the letter! Thank you for letting us share your words!
Andrea says
Hope you find it helpful Linda 🙂
LadyD says
Beautiful and well said. Thank you for sharing. I treasure relationships with my students. Wishing them the best with much-continued success.
Jackie S says
This is such a wonderful letter! I don’t have to use it yet, but I will be in a couple years! Thanks for the inspiration!!
Carmen says
Thank you Andrea. You said it so beautifully! All my students hold a special place in my heart, but especially those who I’ve taught from elementary years thru their teens. I will definitely share this with my future teen students when that time comes.
Karen Koch says
This is wonderful. With your permission I would like to edit somewhat and share it as a handout at a workshop session on “The Business of Being a Pianist” I will be presenting for high school, college and grad students later this month. I think it will be very helpful for them.
Inga Feter says
Thank you Andrea for this inspiration! For the last weeks, I’m writing a speech for my coming class concert – my last one, since I am moving away. 🙁 Some of my students are graduating right now, but most of the others – I(!) am leaving. Your letter gave me some good ideas. I do wish them to continue playing the piano and to give the “new” teacher a chance. Some of my “kids” I have been teaching for 11 years… they started when they were 4 or 5 and now they are young adults. It is tough to leave them and to trust them into the hands of a new teacher… I do hope they will continue – for themselves. not for me, not for their parents, but for themselves. for their pleasure and their comfort.
thank you Andrea, for another great post! Love your work!
Inga from Luxembourg/Europe
Jennifer Kampermann says
Although the article was from the teacher/student point of view, I think these are excellent talking points for any parent whose child takes any music related lessons. Sometimes the older child wants to give up and quit because most of their friends are heavily into sports. This article is an excellent way to get the older student back on track! Thank you.
Yvonne Quinn-Chittle says
Thank you so much for this-I have a girl graduating from high school this year and trying to determine if she wants to continue in piano. This articulates everything that she needs to think about. It brought tears to my eyes! Thanks!
Rebecca Gebbink says
This is wonderful and so timely!
Helen says
Number five is exactly the thing that I figured out for myself when I quit my piano lessons during my senior year. I am sure that I would have been able to benefit from further lessons with my aunt, but I was in AP music theory and choir, so my mom agreed that I could stop. As a typical teenager, I hated having lessons and felt like a free bird when they were over. The thing is, THAT was when I learned that I LIKED playing the piano. Instead of quitting the piano, use your new freedom to find your own style and refuge in the piano.
Biplab Poddar says
Agree with. Number 7 is close to my heart i ca relate to it. I’m currently working on the f# minor nocturne! they’re beautiful pieces.Don’t get me wrong, you have to be strong and confident to be successful in just about anything you do – but with music, there’s a deeper emotional component to your failures and successes. If you fail a chemistry test, it’s because you either didn’t study enough, or just aren’t that good at chemistry (the latter of which is totally understandable). But if you fail at music, it can say something about your character. It could be because you didn’t practice enough – but, more terrifyingly, it could be because you aren’t resilient enough. Mastering chemistry requires diligence and smarts, but mastering a piano piece requires diligence and smarts, plus creativity, plus the immense capacity to both overcome emotional hurdles, and, simultaneously, to use that emotional component to bring the music alive.
Before I started taking piano, I had always imagined the Conservatory students to have it so good – I mean, for their homework, they get to play guitar, or jam on their saxophone, or sing songs! What fun! Compared to sitting in lab for four hours studying the optical properties of minerals, or discussing Lucretian theories of democracy and politics, I would play piano any day.
But after almost three years of piano at Orpheus academy., I understand just how naïve this is. Playing music for credit is not “easy” or “fun” or “magical” or “lucky.” Mostly, it’s really freakin’ hard. It requires you to pick apart your piece, play every little segment over and over, dissect it, tinker with it, cry over it, feel completely lame about it, then get over yourself and start practicing again. You have to be precise and diligent, creative and robotic. And then – after all of this – you have to re-discover the emotional beauty in the piece, and use it in your performance.
Andrea says
Love this – thanks for commenting 🙂