One would think that teaching piano to a student who is a perfectionist would be a dream: “A student who insists on doing everything perfectly? Excellent!” The problem is… their fear of making mistakes actually cripples them to the point of where their playing suffers. Not only this, but they are reluctant to take on a challenge – fearful of venturing beyond their comfort zone. You know the “Perfectionist Petes” in your studio… here’s how to help them break free.
Welcome To The “Mistake Zone”
Intervention is needed when dealing with a Perfectionist Pete. Great things happen when your piano student feels free to experiment; to push themselves beyond their comfort zone and try new things and take on new challenges. They need to know that the earth doesn’t swallow them whole when they make a mistake. So… practice making mistakes. Give them the chance to feel what it feels like to “fail” in an environment where mistakes are not simply tolerated…but celebrated! Some of our best learning comes from the moments where the unexpected happens. Try the following:
1. Take away the music – play a game where you will “steal” their sheet music at random intervals while they play (and then put it back after several bars). They have to continue playing no matter what.
2. Take away the sharps and flats – have them play through their piece ignoring the key signature and all of the accidentals. Delight in the horrible sounds! Give the piece a new name to match its new sound.
3. Have him teach you – trade roles and have him become the piano teacher while you are the student. What kind of piano student are you? Do you listen well? Do you pay attention to your music? Do you play perfectly? I hope not!! How do they deal with a student like you? It’s liberating to be on the other side (for both of you!)
4. Compose! – Perfectionist Pete takes great delight in being in control. Give him many opportunities to be in the driver’s seat by creating his own music. Don’t know how to teach this? Check this out!
5. High-Five the wrong notes – My Perfectionist Pete would to say “oops” after every single wrong note. It used to drive me nuts. Until we changed the “oops” into a high-five. It’s hard to be hard on yourself when you’re high-fiving your piano teacher. And when you’re not being hard on yourself a lot of the mistakes go away.
Perfectionist Pete’s Mom Will Thank You!
Aside from helping Perfectionist Pete loosen his iron grip on his piano skills, you’ll also be helping him cope with other uncontrollable aspects of his life… you can bet he isn’t this way with just the piano. Allowing him to experience the thrill of throwing caution to the wind is something he will never forget. Add your own fun ways of making your Perfectionist Pete’s mistakes “okay”... and watch those mistakes magically disappear.
Want to help Perfectionist Pete break out of his shell?… Our resource “Shhh…Your Piano Teacher Thinks This is Practice” is the perfect way to bring the fun back into learning to play the piano. Our wildly imaginative practice exercises will have your Perfectionist Pete having a ball on the piano bench while reinforcing good practice habits. Check it out here!
Anna L. says
Great post! I knew that mistakes are not something to be afraid of, but the thought never occurred to me that if mistakes are celebraited, that they most likely will disappear! It’s good to be able to help others (and yourself 🙂 not be in bondage to perfection! Like what has already been mentioned some of the best learning comes from mistakes ’cause it highlights what we can grow in.
Amy Kendall says
I have a couple of “Pefectionistic Pete”‘s in my studio! One has been my student for 2 or 3 years and is gradually relaxing and making progress. Since he is an 11 -year -old boy who is interested in sports, I use a lot of sports analogies with him. Since the summer is baseball season, I talk about Major League Baseball players and how even the best hitters only hit in the 3oo’s, meaning that approximately 2 out of every 3 “at -bats” they get out! That’s hardly perfect! Then we talk about the fact that sometimes they even strike out, and that they are PROS, GETTING PAID to paly baseball, and still they make mistakes. So, if it’s ok for pro’s to make mistakes, surely it’s ok for a kid to make a mistake!
This really sunk in and helped my student. Now, he gets less frustrated in his lessons, and his mom says it has carried into other areas of his life. She loves what I’ve been able to help him accomplish and is often “singing my praises” to others!
Rebecca Brown says
I have been know to turn on a video of me playing, pull out the piano score, and point out to the student every single mistake I made……and then tell them how much I got paid for that performance. When they realize that even professional musicians make mistakes, they tend to lighten up.
Donna Hunter says
I teach a 10-year old boy who would shut down and cry whenever he made mistakes…until I brought in one of my old RCM exam report cards from when I was a kid that showed I wasn’t perfect….and that I must have really blown the ear test (0.5 out of 3 marks) and that they had given me the half a point by me just doing SOMETHING instead of giving up and crying. I am happy to say that he hasn’t cried since.
Donna says
I like to compare piano mistakes to Olympic ice skaters falling down. Even the very best of them fall. Does that make them bad skaters? No! Then why do they fall? Because the ice is slippery, right? Do we still enjoy seeing them skate and think they are wonderful? Of course!